Meet & talk to fellow OstoMates Support | Friendship | Relationships

New Members

Fri Oct 29, 2021 9:23 pm
This is a great community. Consider joining.

I have looked at a lot of new members profiles. A lot of them have said things about wanting to talk to people who have had problems like theirs. Most of them I have not seen post in notifications. I remember when I first joined they wanted you to do a profile telling a little about  youself. I don't remember if it tells anything about posting in notifications. I just looked at one profile that said he was due to get a Colostomy. He was asking for information from anyone who had one. He has not been back on in a month. I am not sure if they know they should post questions in notifications or not. He is not the only one I have seen like that. I know we  probably don't see all of peoples post.  I guess my question is does anyone remember if there are instructions about  notifications.

These are the top 5 issues ostomates face:

1. Dating and relationships
2. Concealing the pouch
3. Foods to eat and avoid
4. Losing or gaining weight
5. Pouch ballooning

Check out this video from MeetAnOstoMate.
Fri Oct 29, 2021 10:22 pm

Right, lovely nailed it. I had a gal close to where I lived wanting information I sent her some and poof gone. Not sure if it cuz they didn't pay or I have bad B.O

Sat Oct 30, 2021 12:18 am


Cplumber wrote:

Right, lovely nailed it. I had a gal close to where I lived wanting information I sent her some and poof gone. Not sure if it cuz they didn't pay or I have bad B.O

Cplumber, what I meant was do new members know to post questions in notifications. A lot of people don't always look ar peoples profile. I just thought the guy I looked at didn't get a response and left the site.

Sat Oct 30, 2021 2:22 am

Hello Lovely.

It is a very good question you raise and I would suggest that it is redirected as a direct question to admin for a reply. I have found that they are quite responsive to questions like this and, after all, we ( & they) should be supporting and welcoming new members as much as possible. I must admit that I do not often read profiles on new members, so if they ask questions in that format, then they are unlikely to get a response (from me).  I cannot recall if there were any instructions at the outset about posting and notifications. But in any case, a lot has changed on here since I first posted, so perhaps there needs to be a review of how 'newbies' are supported and encouraged to participate.

Best wishes

Bill

 

Sat Oct 30, 2021 4:10 am

Hi lovely

When I joined just under a year ago,there was no information telling you how to ask questions. So perhaps admin could give a brief description where and how to use the site. XX

Sat Oct 30, 2021 8:01 am

Lovely ..I saw a new member post , then as I was responding it disappeared. I think some are just shy at first . I reached out to her in a private message , that worked . Also , some folks hide on here . 
ritz

Sat Oct 30, 2021 5:02 pm


Bill wrote:

Hello Lovely.

It is a very good question you raise and I would suggest that it is redirected as a direct question to admin for a reply. I have found that they are quite responsive to questions like this and, after all, we ( & they) should be supporting and welcoming new members as much as possible. I must admit that I do not often read profiles on new members, so if they ask questions in that format, then they are unlikely to get a response (from me).  I cannot recall if there were any instructions at the outset about posting and notifications. But in any case, a lot has changed on here since I first posted, so perhaps there needs to be a review of how 'newbies' are supported and encouraged to participate.

Best wishes

Bill

 

I did send the message on to admin. I will let you know when I get an answer.

Sun Oct 31, 2021 12:49 am

Hi Lovely,

  Interesting question you post.  I'd bet a lot of folks come to check out this site, but don't find what they want.........and bug out.  I mean it's called "Meet an Ostomate", not "Chat with Ostomates", so at first blush they're probably thinking this is a traditional 'dating' site, like Match.com or Zoosk or the others, not a forum for ostomates to vent, learn and just communicate......with some hap-hazard dating thrown in.  So they pop in, see who's near them.........it's usually nobody......don't feel like chatting.......and leave.  It's funny, because I checked out the 'other' ostomy dating site, which has no forum, it's straight up dating..........and again, because few live close.........nothing goes on there.  People join........look around......a few say 'hi' to each other..........and that's it.  They do have a cool map of the states that shows where all the ostomates are........so you can see if any are close without having to keep changing things in the search criteria.  But as a 'dating' site..........it's not very effective.  

  It's pretty hard to have an 'ostomates only' dating sight that works like a normal dating site..........just not enough people living close to each other.  We should probably combine with others with medical "solutions" that put them in a class similar to us.  Not sure who that would be........maybe an IBD dating site, to include anyone having gastrointestinal issues?  I know that before I had my bag I wasn't comfortable on normal dating sites.  Having to find a restroom in a moment's notice and not being comfortable away from an area where I knew were all the restroom were, etc........was just as humbling as having a bag now.  And I'm sure those people would understand our situation the same as we understand theirs.  Or maybe amputees...........although they might have enough like minded people all by themselves.  I don't know what the answer is, but I'd say restricting the dating pool to just ostomates isn't a very efficient way for couples to be formed, even though it would be optimal in regards to understanding what's involved with having an ostomy.  I'm sure some find each other on here and the other site, just like a blind squirrel trips over acorns every now and then, but it's not practical when you look at the big picture, and trying to satisfy more people's needs.   

  So to answer your question..........I'd guess a lot of folks check this site out looking for a traditional dating site.......because of the name........don't find that.........and leave.  But I could certainly be wrong.  Maybe one of them will read this and explain it to us!  Stranger things have happened!!

 

regards,

bob

Sun Oct 31, 2021 7:42 pm

Hi bob, the person that started me thinking said he was due to have surgery and was wanting some info from people who had been there. His profile said he had not been online in a month after the he posted. But I don't remember seeing his question on here. I may be wrong but to get questions answered you need to post it in notifications. Then unless you click on the bell icon you don't know how to do that. It has been so long I can't remember if there are instructions when you join or not.

Mon Nov 01, 2021 3:56 am

I remember the post lovely and if I'm not mistaken I'm sure I saw a female asking along the lines of the same question?? XX

Tue Nov 16, 2021 7:20 pm

Hello lovely,

I'm recently new to this site and did find the page a little daunting at first, on where to post and how to post any questions, I posted and didn't get a reply so deleted the post then realised what I was ment to be doing and redid the post. I think it would help if there was clear instructions on how to post when you first come onto the site, the more I'm on here the more I learn how to use it. Some people are very shy I was at first. 

Tue Nov 16, 2021 9:58 pm

 samantha1995.pa glad you didn't give up and that you are learning. It took me awhile when I first joined.

Wed Nov 17, 2021 4:12 am

Lovely, 

I'm definitely starting to find my feet and getting to talk to some very helpful and lovely people 😊  

Thu Nov 25, 2021 7:57 pm

I just wish non paying members could send messages. 

Sat Nov 27, 2021 1:44 am


AlexT wrote:

I just wish non paying members could send messages. 

I guess you know you can answer messages if someone sends you one. You might could post here for them to send you a message if they post here.

Sat Nov 27, 2021 3:35 am


AlexT wrote:

I just wish non paying members could send messages. 

Hello AlexT.

Whilst I am happy to reply to 'personal messages', my preferred avenue of communication is via the open forum (which anyone can do). My perspective on this is that: If everyone only messaged personally, then there would be no dynamic correspondence for others to read.(& perhaps respond to). However, I can perfectly understand people wanting to correspond with each other on sensitive issues and relationships, other than those concerning stomas. Unfortunately, at present it seems that admin feel that there has to be some incentives to pay. 

Best wishes

Bill 

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