New Members

I have looked at a lot of new members' profiles. A lot of them have said things about wanting to talk to people who have had problems like theirs. Most of them I have not seen post in notifications. I remember when I first joined, they wanted you to do a profile telling a little about yourself. I don't remember if it tells anything about posting in notifications. I just looked at one profile that said he was due to get a colostomy. He was asking for information from anyone who had one. He has not been back on in a month. I am not sure if they know they should post questions in notifications or not. He is not the only one I have seen like that. I know we probably don't see all of people's posts. I guess my question is, does anyone remember if there are instructions about notifications?

Right, lovely, nailed it. I had a gal close to where I lived wanting information. I sent her some, and poof, gone. Not sure if it's because they didn't pay or I have bad B.O.

Cplumber, what I meant was do new members know to post questions in notifications? A lot of people don't always look at people's profiles. I just thought the guy I looked at didn't get a response and left the site.

Hello Lovely.

It is a very good question you raise and I would suggest that it is redirected as a direct question to admin for a reply. I have found that they are quite responsive to questions like this and, after all, we ( & they) should be supporting and welcoming new members as much as possible. I must admit that I do not often read profiles on new members, so if they ask questions in that format, then they are unlikely to get a response (from me).  I cannot recall if there were any instructions at the outset about posting and notifications. But in any case, a lot has changed on here since I first posted, so perhaps there needs to be a review of how 'newbies' are supported and encouraged to participate.

Best wishes

Bill

Hi lovely

When I joined just under a year ago, there was no information telling you how to ask questions. So perhaps admin could give a brief description of where and how to use the site. XX

My Ostomy Journey: April | Hollister

Lovely.. I saw a new member post, then as I was responding, it disappeared. I think some are just shy at first. I reached out to her in a private message; that worked. Also, some folks hide on here.
ritz

I did send the message on to admin. I will let you know when I get an answer.

Hi Lovely,

Interesting question you posted. I'd bet a lot of folks come to check out this site but don't find what they want... and bug out. I mean, it's called "Meet an Ostomate," not "Chat with Ostomates," so at first blush, they're probably thinking this is a traditional 'dating' site, like Match.com or Zoosk or the others, not a forum for ostomates to vent, learn, and just communicate... with some haphazard dating thrown in. So they pop in, see who's near them... it's usually nobody... don't feel like chatting... and leave. It's funny because I checked out the 'other' ostomy dating site, which has no forum; it's straight-up dating... and again, because few live close... nothing goes on there. People join... look around... a few say 'hi' to each other... and that's it. They do have a cool map of the states that shows where all the ostomates are... so you can see if any are close without having to keep changing things in the search criteria. But as a 'dating' site... it's not very effective.

It's pretty hard to have an 'ostomates only' dating site that works like a normal dating site... just not enough people living close to each other. We should probably combine with others with medical "solutions" that put them in a class similar to us. Not sure who that would be... maybe an IBD dating site, to include anyone having gastrointestinal issues? I know that before I had my bag, I wasn't comfortable on normal dating sites. Having to find a restroom at a moment's notice and not being comfortable away from an area where I knew where all the restrooms were, etc... was just as humbling as having a bag now. And I'm sure those people would understand our situation the same as we understand theirs. Or maybe amputees... although they might have enough like-minded people all by themselves. I don't know what the answer is, but I'd say restricting the dating pool to just ostomates isn't a very efficient way for couples to be formed, even though it would be optimal in regards to understanding what's involved with having an ostomy. I'm sure some find each other on here and the other site, just like a blind squirrel trips over acorns every now and then, but it's not practical when you look at the big picture and try to satisfy more people's needs.

So to answer your question... I'd guess a lot of folks check this site out looking for a traditional dating site... because of the name... don't find that... and leave. But I could certainly be wrong. Maybe one of them will read this and explain it to us! Stranger things have happened!!

Regards,

Bob

Hi bob, the person that started me thinking said he was due to have surgery and was wanting some info from people who had been there. His profile said he had not been online in a month after he posted. But I don't remember seeing his question on here. I may be wrong, but to get questions answered, you need to post it in notifications. Then, unless you click on the bell icon, you don't know how to do that. It has been so long I can't remember if there are instructions when you join or not.

I remember the post lovely, and if I'm not mistaken, I'm sure I saw a female asking along the lines of the same question. XX

Hello lovely,

I'm recently new to this site and found the page a little daunting at first regarding where to post and how to post any questions. I posted and didn't get a reply, so I deleted the post, then realized what I was meant to be doing and redid the post. I think it would help if there were clear instructions on how to post when you first come onto the site. The more I'm on here, the more I learn how to use it. Some people are very shy; I was at first.

samantha1995.pa, glad you didn't give up and that you are learning. It took me a while when I first joined.

Lovely,

I'm definitely starting to find my feet and getting to talk to some very helpful and lovely people. 😊

I just wish non-paying members could send messages.

I guess you know you can answer messages if someone sends you one. You might be able to post here for them to send you a message if they post here.

Hello AlexT.

Whilst I am happy to reply to 'personal messages', my preferred avenue of communication is via the open forum (which anyone can do). My perspective on this is that: If everyone only messaged personally, then there would be no dynamic correspondence for others to read.(& perhaps respond to). However, I can perfectly understand people wanting to correspond with each other on sensitive issues and relationships, other than those concerning stomas. Unfortunately, at present it seems that admin feel that there has to be some incentives to pay. 

Best wishes

Bill 

So true, sometimes you want to post and it's just for paying members.

I get the fact that there's money needed to maintain a website. With this site being a lot about giving information out about dealing with an ostomy, a lot of people don't feel comfortable disclosing all their health issues on a public forum and would feel much more comfortable being able to private message specific individuals that can help with whatever the issue is. Any other forum I've been a part of for other things asks for donations and allows companies (like Hollister, Coloplast, etc.) to run ads for a fee to cover website costs.

Ya know guys..........I see Convatec advertises on here, but I don't see the other ostomy product companies doing any advertising. Maybe if we reach out to them when we request samples........or just call them for any reason........we should suggest they advertise or sponsor this site. Not saying admin would change the rules for non-paying members and the message policy, but if they had sponsors footing most of the costs associated with operating and maintaining this site.......they might make some accommodation. Just a hunch on my part. I'll be calling both Hollister and Coloplast here shortly and will see what they say.........I for one would like to hear why Coloplast and Hollister DON'T support this site.......and us.

Regards,

Bob

Well............I guess I need to take that back! I just saw an ad from Hollister and one from Coloplast! Hmmm............I wonder...........

;0)