I had a hernia from the outset so I started wearing a hernia belt then.
I could not get on with many of them because my abdomen swelled when I had eaten and shrank as time went by. Eventually I opted for those made by CIU (or is it CUI?). The are fastened by Velcro so are easily adjustable.
They come in different sizes, none of which suited me because I have trouble with breathing and ribs. However, they did offer to make me some to my own specification – but these were not suitable in practice either. I have now found a clumsy solution which involves folding the belt over from the bottom, which makes it narrower and therefore less likely to interfere with my ribs.
I also have a peristomal hernia which I keep in place with a belt I made myself. It has a large buckle that situates directly over the stoma and applies pressure. Fortunately, I irrigate so there is no problem with it interfering with output.
Now, onto the issues of irrigation and abdomen hurting. It took ages and a lot of experimentation for me to find the best way (for me) to irrigate. The cones didn’t work because of my hernia and the irritating splashback that occurred; Eventually I made my own pressured water device with an anal catheter which can get past the hernia blockage.
What happens in practice is that the system works like colonic irrigation, in that it continually pushes waste out as the water is going in. I therefore use about 5 litre of water, but only a fraction of this is left in the colon after the process is finished.
Occasionally my abdomen gets distended and hurts, but (don’t laugh!) I have found that if lift my 'left' leg and put it on the toilet rim, then the process of expulsion is more efficient. ( It doesn’t work with the right leg!!)
My processes and procedures have changed over the years because sometimes they work and sometimes not so well. I’m all for experimentation to find what works ‘best’ for me. Sometimes this is to be defined as ‘best of an unsatisfactory lot’.
I hope you find a solution to you problems in the near future