I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It can be so hard especially in the beginning. Your feelings are valid. I read you had an emergency surgery so you didn’t know this was coming beforehand huh? Is there a long term plan for your colostomy?
Do you have access to ostomy nurses? As others have said they are so instrumental with this aspect of care.
I wouldn’t look at my bag/ touch it at first. I would turn my head when someone on the medical team was checking it. I was so determined not to look and then one day they were messing with it and said something and curiosity took over and I didn’t mean to, I was mad I had failed my resolve not to look, even if by accident on my part but I looked and it was a first step in the right direction. Then one day I’m standing there while the nurse aide is emptying my bag because I was like no I can’t do that. I burst into tears out of seemingly nowhere. The aide looked at me with wide eyes as I blubbered something about it being me and not him and I wasn’t crying because of him but I just really hate it and wanted to go home. Poor guy didn’t know what to do with me.
Time and practice do help. I went from it taking 2hrs at the worst to do an emergency bag change when there was a leak and the stoma was acting like a volcano to 5min maybe 10 if things were active and I had to wait for skin to dry.
Give yourself/ your body lots of grace as you’re healing ❤️🩹