Feedback needed: Sexy clothing and undergarments for women - opinions wanted!


Hi, I have a friend with IBS, and she has been test driving a new design idea. I was wondering if I could have some feedback on your self-perceived sex appeal. Do you wear sexy clothing and panties? Do you wear something underneath your garments each day? I have different answers from different bloggers, but not enough. Answering any of the questions would help.

Hello and welcome! I love the idea that you are brainstorming over such things, very cool. Personally, I still wear girly, lacy, sexy things. Of course, having an ostomy, it is always nice to have something soft and pretty that will cover the ostomy pouch. Many of my friends are in the same mindset. However, I know there are lots of needs and opinions out there, and I hope to see more posts in this thread. In the past, both ladies and gents in here have discussed the desire for more attractive and comfortable special designs that will support and hide an ostomy pouch. As for ladies, one of our most common things used is simply a tube top slid down over our waistline to cover the ostomy. Some of us try to find the same colors to match sexy nightwear or add lace to the tube tops, etc. There are a number of interesting posts on this which might be helpful if you dig through our forum too. I think that anyone who has the creative ability to create new, soft, and comfortable things for us can end up rolling in the $$$$... and making us very happy in the process. Good luck with this, dear!! Not sure if I've answered any of your questions, but hoping here's a start.
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I have a urostomy and yes, I wear sexy underwear. I also have my pouch. I always make sure that I tuck my pouch under my basque because of the bulge, so I always buy one size higher than I am. And to be honest, I alter them to suit my requirements. I also wear those lady shorts, and I find if I buy them, they cover my pouch. But you can now buy those bra-type vests, and you'd be surprised at how well you can hide your pouch.

Sadly, when I had my surgery 3 years ago, it turned my husband off. He hated it no matter what I did. He just would not make love to me or come near me. So after he left me within 4 months of my urostomy, I felt as if I were on the scrap heap. That was until I met a really nice guy. I told him as we got more sexual, I told him about my pouch. Funny thing is, it was he who told me to try and alter the underwear to suit my pouch. I'm glad I did. Now I have no serious relationship at the moment, but I can honestly say that since the breakdown of my marriage and the way he made me feel, I am in a much better place. And to hell with those men who are too self-centered to see past the pouch. Maria


When it gets down to it, the primal instinct just kicks It saddened me that I would never wear sexy undergarments again but.....a couple of us got together to make custom undergarments. This hobby is great. We meet lots of people, hear stories, and people love that it fits them. I even make bikini bottoms and not one person has asked why I look a little different. People can become creative and hopefully find what works for them.


Thank you, thank you, thank you. As the number of views increased and the replies remained zero, I started losing hope. I read through a few other topics and I didn't get as great an answer as I've gotten... or such direct answers would be a better way to put it. I hope more people reply so that I can get a grasp of what need everyone has in common. Also, on a side note, this is the most positive sight I've been a part of. Everyone is more pro-life than pro-tissue boxes. It is beautiful! Or "butiful" as my daughter would say!

Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

I have had my ileostomy for almost 20 years, and during that time, I have gone from covering my pouch with either pouch covers that I didn't care for, lingerie, small tube tops, special wraps, to now not wearing anything at all! I just make sure I haven't eaten too close in time to being intimate and put on my tiny Convatec pouch, and my boyfriend doesn't even notice it! There certainly are times I like to wear sexy nighties, etc., but feel just as comfortable without! This probably doesn't help your inquiry, but I am always supportive of new products out there! In fact, I now work for Ostomysecrets, and we have several great products for intimate wear! Check us out!


I love to wear dresses in the warmer weather. Much more comfortable than pants around my stomach.
One thing that really helps make me feel "pretty" is I buy the thigh-high stockings instead of wearing tight-fitting pantyhose.

Past Member
Today's only my fourth day with a colostomy and my own clothes (After two weeks in hospital gowns I placed a moratorium on them during the day and had my kids bring me clothes. I disconnected the IV to get dressed. Shhh.).
I am pleased to report that clothing does not seem to be an issue! I can't see any evidence of the pouch, even wearing just a tank top. I don't often wear skin tight things, but they're fitted, body conscious, not baggy. I'm really relieved. There's enough to adjust to. But I hear people gain weight. I'm pretty skinny and could see there being a problem if I gained weight. But that would be a problem with or without a colostomy!

Unless I'm working, I usually wear a tank with some sort of shirt or sweater with really soft, wide elastic waist skirts that feel like nothing with opaque or wooly thigh highs. I have tons of those skirts from Prana and Title Nine (usually Horny Toad) in every color - which for me tends to mean black, grey and brown. I also like dresses from Title Nine and will wear those when I don't have the compulsion to examine my incision and stoma every ten seconds. At work I wear the same on top but with Lululemon Groove pants. I tried them on and they're fine. (I have some Nikes, but I don't love them and cut up a pair last night to make a support belt).
The night before I ended up in hospital, I found out Sock Dreams was having a really good sale and bought a zillion pairs of their thigh highs - smartwool, cotton, a whole bunch - even though I couldn't afford them. The timing was so perfect it's kind of creepy. Because while before surgery I preferred thigh highs or over-the-knee socks to tights, now they feel like a must have. The thought of wearing something restictive (I can imagine tights sagging and the pouch getting pushed around - ugh) anywhere near my stomach is nauseating. I don't think jeans are going to be part of my wardrobe for a while even though they're really low rise. I feel like I'll even do painting and wood refinishing and fix toilets in a dress.
I just realized I think the question may have been about self esteem and how people feel. I feel comfortable and normal. Even though I'm sitting around the house by myself, I'm getting dressed in things I like every day. It's not a big deal - I don't wear makeup and my hair is wash and dry. I just think this would not be a good time to start feeling ugly. If the rest of me looks decent I can handle the Frankenstein mess my torso has become.

Wow, thank you for your feedback. I have not commented in a while because I have been working on other things and am now back to researching. The new innovations are apparent. Also, more women are beginning to create for themselves, which is a great thing. I really love that. I have been putting ads on Craigslist for an Ostomate fit model, and the few replies I have gotten were from women saying they would love to but they live a billion miles away, lol. Anyway, thanks again and I will be checking in daily, so if you know anyone who can stop in and leave me a comment!


I live in Pittsburgh, PA. I would be willing to come to Georgia if you need help.


That is awesome. You wouldn't have to do that, but I could send you a garment by mail and you can give me your feedback. That would be better than anything. If you know anyone else who wouldn't mind testing my pieces, please do let me know. I will provide you my info via message. Thanks again.

Past Member
Caution .... we have had scammers on this site before........

Loudesign and Pittsburghgirl ... neither of you have much information on your profiles and you are asking for and giving out too much. You each have only two posts.

Loudesigns, you are asking for an address so you can send something. DANGER!!!

Pittsburghgirl, you are offering to go to Georgia to meet up with someone. DANGER!!!

Everything about your profiles and your TWO posts each scares me.

Maybe you are as innocent as you want us to believe you are. But you have not shared your ostomy experiences, difficulties, adjustments, expectations. These four posts scare me.

Please use caution in all online interactions.

Oh, okay, no, my apology. I definitely understand your point of view, Dawneagle. My friend, whom I will ask to join and comment on this forum, is the reason I created this thread months ago. I create her undies and lovelies. My goal is not to meet people but to understand the mental and physical processes that occur after. Her experience has been totally different than a lot of the experiences I read about. I have not put a lot of information on my page because I had a gentleman on a blog site say he was sick of people probing like they were science projects. It really hurt my feelings because my question on the blog was, if there were any one thing you could alter to make you feel different, what would it be? (Response to a comment which she answered me wonderfully). For the record, I have not messaged a request for addresses or anything. I have a 2-year-old daughter, so believe you me, someone saying they'll hop on a plane is just as eerie in appeal. Though I love the sentiment.

Past Member
, .....

I am still confused. Are you one person with two log-on identities or two of you who maybe work together.

You design clothes? You are wanting to know if we ostomates still want to wear lovely things underneath street clothes and/or other sexy clothes? And this information might be to create items of clothing for ostomates???

I skim many posts and when I saw Pittsburghgirl offer to come to Georgia to help - all my 'caution' sensory systems shifted into high gear. Were there more comments other places that I couldn't tie to these forum posts? The only reason I ask these questions is because it still doesn't make sense to me.

Of course, we all feel better when we look better - even an old lady like me. But I would never tell anyone ... 'significant or intimate' things about myself with so little information about who I am talking to.

I am sorry if I offend you but not sorry for encouraging caution.

Hello, I do not have two identities and the question I asked when I began this thread is the only one I am interested in. I have not sent a message asking anyone to meet me and in addition to your caution, I would like to add that any communication I have is public. This is my only thread on this site and the only one I have ever participated in to date. I apologize if you feel I have asked you something that would be intrusive. However, because everyone's replies do help me to help the people who I do make things for, then I only ask that you not reply if you are not comfortable. I am not here to solicit and I am not here to pry. I am not offended and I hope to not offend you. But my friend wears the most beautiful lingerie that I create for her, and my desire to understand more the complexities of the difference in self-image I think are harmless and sincere. I hope you do understand this reply and know that I do understand yours.

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