Managing Stoma Noise: Tips for Dating with an Ileostomy

I have an ileostomy and just love my food. I eat everything, including what I know I shouldn't.

But now I'm starting to date, I'm struggling to find what to eat that won't cause too much gas and noise with my bag...
Can anybody give me any helpful tips...

Hi, don't eat anything with beans. Good luck, Ron in Mich.

Yeah, I stay away from the obvious,...but still have the same problem.

Hi, dairy makes me a bit noisy at times... and sauerkraut... I eat everything I shouldn't too... good luck, hun.

If you wish to live a normal life and eat anything you desire, but worry about dating, then maybe you just shouldn't date at all.
If you wish to date and not have to bother about belly farts, I hope you find someone normal and understanding, and the rest who finds belly farts offending or rude..... well just send them to shit basically.
Please don't put up with other people's narrow-minded selective moralities.
Live and enjoy your life.
Be assertive.

And by the way... I am babysitting my kid's parrot (African red-tailed grey).
He perfectly imitates my belly farts, my burps, coughs, and laughter.
Would I have to avoid walking past his cage to not be embarrassed, especially when other people are around?
The answer is NO. He reproduces a belly fart, and I laugh about it.
The parrot then imitates my laugh, and I laugh even more.
In return, the parrot sets in again, and we soon cannot stop laughing (including whoever is around at that moment).
So, instead of developing belly fart anxiety syndrome, you should have a very good laugh.
Eat, drink, and laugh!

Maybe someone could design a stoma muffler (like the ones used in the exhaust of a car and motorbike).

Beano makes tablets now and they work! Try them.

Beano? Haven't heard of this!!

.....maybe I need a parrot...thanks for your positive words...I probably have more of a problem with the noise than anybody...I've seen me starve myself before a date and eaten only a couple bananas...eekkkk I know, I have to get over it!

BEANO
You may have to order it online if it's not available in NZ. It's an over-the-counter enzyme product - works very well either taken before eating or if you forget, it even works after eating.

Thanks, Pinky. I'll look into it.

Hi there, I'm Angie. I've found things that cause embarrassing noises are any milk products, peas, vegetables, brown bread, especially the milk products. If I'm going anywhere, I just don't eat until I get back. I just drink water. Good luck.

Oily fish, coffee, broccoli, and beans were my noise makers. I also worried about that problem in the beginning of dating my boyfriend of over a year now, but I figured it's life and it happens, and if he wanted to be with me, then he'd have to accept it. I wasn't about to give up the foods I enjoy just because of being embarrassed by a sound. Not to mention, he jokes about the stoma noises and laughs right along with me at the silly sounds. He calls it my own personal squeak toy...lol
Another thing to laugh about is waking up with the "Hindenburg effect." That's always fun after a night of drinking a few beers

Best wishes to you.

I'm fine with most foods I eat, haven't really seen any problem with anything I eat. Going for my first operation on June 9th which is to attach my large intestine back together again, will still have the ileostomy, got another 2 operations after the first one before I'm (hopefully) back to normal, or as normal as I'm ever going to be.

Anytime my stoma makes fart noises, I lift my leg after it to look like it was a normal fart but with a delayed leg action. Always gets a good laugh. Give it a go.

   You're not related to me, Dad, are you?!    Love it, mate. Absolutely priceless!