I've been feeling down again.
Just when I think I'm getting back to the fun-loving girl I used to be, something always happens which pulls me back into the darkness.
I decided I should learn to salsa dance, not only to keep fit but to overcome my depression.
It started well, I really loved learning the dance and I was okay with meeting new people, even though I only said hello to them.
I was having a laugh, especially when I was paired up with this really tall 6ft+ man. I must say here I'm only 4ft 7!!
It must have looked funny to the others, seeing us two trying to do these steps while trying to stay in hold!
Then, 3 weeks ago all my fears about myself came back when I happened to notice the instructor and some others looking in the direction of my pouch. I know, I know they might not have been looking there and it's all in my mind. After a long chat with my family and friends, my fears subsided and I thought to myself, "So what if they can see anything? You've got to enjoy life, girl!!"
I went back and I was enjoying myself until I noticed people looking in the same direction as my bag again. I stopped dancing, laughing, and enjoying myself, and that time I actually left the dance floor.
I didn't go last weekend. I have been suffering from a cold, which I was thankful for as I got out of going.
I haven't told any of my family and friends about my feelings this time. I don't know why I'm just dwelling on it by myself, actually I do. I don't want my family and friends to give me another stern talking to.
I don't feel comfortable about going anymore, but I love going and don't want to let my friends who I go with down.
Bugger, that's really what you did not need! Is your pouch obvious? I bet it isn't really; just you think it is.
Is there anything you wear that disguises it better, like longer tunic-type floaty tops and jeans, for instance?
Failing that, just go in and ask them what they are staring at and flash it about at 'em, nosey sods!
Love and big hugs, Rach xxx
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Hi Deb,
As you can see, the outpouring of love and support from this website will help you to find the strength to lift yourself up and out of your current emotional situation. I am lucky to have my husband by my side through all of this, so I will not even pretend to know how you feel and what you're going through alone. I do know that I have great friends on this site and in my life that have been by my side, and hopefully you have many by your side as well. You do have a lot of new friends here. Please feel free to talk through anything that is on your mind. We all go through a confidence deficit when we go through an ostomy surgery. Our body has been marred and your mind feels that way sometimes too. It is tough to move on, but you will. You will be stronger once you realize that you are still the beautiful woman you were prior to your surgery. Hopefully, you can reach out to a local support group and find some additional friends in your same situation. It always helps to have a sounding board wherever you find it!
Puppyluv
I'm sure no one can see you have a stoma, but I know you are worrying about it. You can use a Comfizz waistband or you can get a pair of lycra shorts and cut the legs off so it's just like a band and put it around your waist. I have some internet site addresses for products as well. I will send them to you. If I put any email address on here, the admin will delete them.
Learn more about ostomy accessories, and when to use them.
I know that I stick out a fair way, and I have a tummy wrap that I got for $45 to hold myself in. And if that is too much, I think a tube top would work for a girl also. Just don't get the wrong size because you can have a little mess if you get it too tight. And if you have a mate that is fine with what you have, then you have the whole world in your hands and a lot to smile for. Akumatada is a good way of thinking. And if they are still staring, I think it's because you are 4 feet and he is over 6. I, at one time, had the same thing. I am 6+ and most girls I have met were on the short end. But oh well, life goes on.
How to Get Back to Activity after Ostomy Surgery with Kimberly | Hollister
If you are still having trouble going back, consider something like Zumba. It is a dancing sort of exercise but you are all facing the instructor and that could build up your comfort level and stop you worrying about people looking at you.
Mind you, people are usually concerned mostly about themselves and not about others, so they may not have been focusing on the pouch anyway. Maybe they were all thinking, gosh, she is having so much fun. I wish I could let myself go and enjoy life like that!