I am writing this to inform all people who read my blog that I have very big plans coming up in the next 6 months to a year. Sometime in the summer, I will be undertaking another operation that will affix an internal pouch and a different type of stoma, a temporary one that's at a higher position (not in terms of placement of the bag) in the small intestine. Six to eight months after this has been constructed, providing there have been no problems with the internal pouches failing or going wrong, another, much simpler operation will be done to re-attach the newly formed stoma or ileostomy to the much newer part of my body, the internal pouch.
The only things I am worried about are Pouchitis (inflammation in the lower part of the internal pouch) and the fact that this new operation is far bigger than my original operation. Therefore, I will be in much worse condition afterwards than I was last time during and after my first operation. I hope I will still have all the support afterwards from this website and its members and from my stoma nurses (I call them mine because they are of high priority to me)
Wow... I know the thought of multiple surgeries and months of recovery must leave you with such a "mixed bag" (no pun intended) of feelings.
Why the internal pouch? Is this a choice or necessity? Either way, I wish you great success and a very speedy recovery. May knowing what you're facing (factually), having gone through prior recoveries (painfully), you're already ahead of the game. You're smart and brave, I know you'll do fine...
Please keep us informed of your status and progress along the way, okay? Your experience can and will help others making that very difficult and scary decision.
Looking forward to GREAT news... BEG
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Well, I hit the two year mark. I went back and read my posts from when I first found this site. I was very fortunate in that I stumbled upon it only 4 weeks post op. I have said many times that this community really saved me. The first 2 weeks after my surgery I shut down completely. It wasn't until about the 3rd week that my son came in to my room, flicked on the light and told me I was going to have to get back to living because I was scaring him. I had fallen into such a depression. He ticked me off, but it also made me stop and think- what was I going to do? Feel sorry for myself and sulk, or be grateful I was alive.
I've re-read my journals from that time and it was after my son kicked my butt, so to speak, I took an honest inventory and had to dig deeper than I've ever had to. I mean, I had survived a pretty nasty divorce, after a pretty crappy marriage and that was tough. But this was different. I felt like I was now a handicapped person who would be limited in their life and be looked at as a freak. My mental state was precarious, at best.
But then I found this site. I just lurked a bit before posting. I read so many of the other stories and I started to see just how full my life can be, I was not handicapped, and certainly not a freak! The stories of survival, the sense of humor, the support and compassion was inspiring. It was then I made myself get out of the dark, and get my sh*t together.
Not all rainbows and sunshine at first, hardly! But with grace from myself - to myself, and the kindness and willingness of the folks here to be supportive, non judgemental and openly share intimate details about their life circumstances, l not only survived but thrived.
I think of all the years I had suffered with such extreme pain, barely functioning, and the many hospital stays and how that is all behind me now. (All fingers, toes, and legs crossed that I never have to go near a hospital for myself ever again. I think I'd rather have a fork stuck in my eye. I loathe every about them.)
So, to everyone who has been a part of this journey with me, to say thank you is not enough. I'm forever grateful to know you all. My Angels, each one of you.
And as the Grateful Dead famously said,
"what a long strange trip it's been!"
Im so happy I'm tripping with you all.
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