depression

Hi, how is everyone doing? I'm okay. Lately, I have been having a lot of depression, especially yesterday. The depression was because I had my ileostomy (sp). And because I went to see my urologist (sp) last week, I was told that the radiation did a lot of damage to my bladder and that down the road I might have to catheterize (sp) myself. I am not too excited about it, but I know I can't do anything to change it. Trying to be positive...

Hello, I'm so sorry to hear that. This is so hard. I am having a similar procedure done in the next few weeks, and I am so afraid and depressed. I find myself crying all the time. Prayer helps. You are right; we are blessed to be alive. Please hang in there.

Whatever it takes, Blessed. Radiation caused problems with my wife's lung. That was 8 years ago. Somehow she still manages to make an awful lot of noise. Acceptance and adaptation got her extra yardage. Making the most of your life's constraints pays big dividends. Besides, what are the options? PB

Blessed to be alive is surely a great name as well as a wonderful sentiment. It summarises a wish to be and stay positive that we all would aspire to. As I get older and all physical body parts seem to be progressively giving up I am still holding on to your basic concept of life (for the moment) being a better option than the alternative. Best wishes Bill

YES! Be positive! It's what will get you through each day. And remember... Be blessed! Stay blessed! And be a blessing! I'm sending you lots of love and positive energy!! andsoitis.

My Ostomy Journey: LeeAnne | Hollister

Stay in the game and don't allow any of this to beat you down. Everything on this earth is temporary. Hold on strong to your faith, knowing that God will never give you more than you can handle. I'll remember you in my daily prayers. Blessings always. We are your earthly support network.

Hi Blessed - I had a lot of radiation damage to the bladder myself. Just went through a 17-hour surgery in December to fix two fistulas - 17 days in the hospital over the holidays. No one to come home to, except my dogs (son is away at school). Could barely walk - thank God for home health care and friends! Surprisingly, I had only one day of gut-wrenching self-pity and hopelessness, and I am a person who has lived with depression all my life. It must be the challenge that keeps us going. I find it helps me to read inspirational (I don't mean religious) books: right now, I'm reading David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell. It's about how being the little guy or damaged one can be an advantage in this life. Hang in there! :)

Thank you, Pinky, for your words of advice. It is greatly appreciated. I also have my daughter, son-in-law, and grandsons living with me. My daughter and I are consistently butting heads all the time. I am hoping and praying they are moving out soon, so I can have my house back to ourselves with my 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son.

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement. I appreciate it so much. I went to see an ostomy nurse because I was having problems with the wafer, etc. I would end up with a lot of leakage. I knew I was doing everything right; he applied it the same way. There was nothing else he could do that I hadn't done. The only thing he did was give me some different tape. I go see my doctor on Tuesday. :)

Hi blessed, so sorry to read your news. I've been self-catheterizing for 5 years due to an accident I had; it's not as bad as people think. I use a 'speedycathertor'; it's no bigger than a lip gloss and it's very discreet and easy to use. Keep strong; it's just another rung on the ladder. Every step we take makes us stronger. Taz x

Hi Blessed, I totally understand drifting back and forth with depression. I was recently admitted to the hospital because I had blood in my pouch...not from the stoma, a GI bleed. I literally freaked out. I thought...not this again...I have had enough. The last time I had GI problems, we know the drill...I am here now. Anyway, after several tests, no food, medications and lots of blood draws, the docs determined that I had two small ulcers. Where did I get these ulcers I thought? I eat well, take care of myself...live a balanced, maybe boring lifestyle and this again? Not typical of my personality, I said to the staff that I was leaving the hospital, d/charging myself...done, finished, leaving. I took some calming meds too. My husband could not believe it. I am usually happy, upbeat, joking. I was sick and tired of all of this...I really was tired and just plain upset. Anyway, they actually discharged me afterall because my ulcers stopped bleeding and my blood levels began to rise again. Thank goodness....I am hoping for the best and am taking the meds that they prescribed. The medical staff believes that these ulcers were a result of the baby aspirin that I take daily due to a problem I had with the UC meds two years ago. I am home now...three days...no blood and feeling well. One day at a time....so it is said. Thanks for listening:) Have a wonderful weekend.

Hi, I was just thinking of seeing a psychologist or having regular counseling sessions. I have been through very personal incidents that I need to somehow tell. I am afraid words will spill out of me one day and I will just expose my past to the wrong person at the wrong time. Meanwhile, I am afraid of being doped on mental treatments. I have trust issues and have always heard of mistrust while dealing with a mental therapist. I have taken amitriptyline -10mg -for arthritis pain. It also works as an antidepressant in high doses. I've been only on 10-20 mg doses, and yeah, you will wake up as if you have been mixing all kinds of smoke and drinks the night before... lol. These side effects only last for a couple of weeks until you get used to the treatment. A month after, the drug seems to work somehow on the mental side from my perspective! Better sleep, better appetite, less anxiety, and fewer nightmares!! The one thing I would like to share is you may lose interest in alcohol and recreational drugs, which is a very positive step. I have neither considered seeing a psychologist nor a therapist before, but sometimes you need this sort of drug to change your brain chemistry to pull you out of the black hole that sucks your life inside out!! I have not seen any therapist yet but will do so in the near future. However, I have not had the experience yet. But from the way how I found antidepressants may work, I will assume mental therapy is a managed drug program, and it has no difference between any other drugs that you can pick up from the street. The official ones are just involved in an official therapy plan with adequate dosage and monitoring. Make sense? I will appreciate it if someone who has been through mental therapy could comment on this. Thanks. Be well.

Hey Darious, I'm not sure what it is you're asking. But there are two kinds of mental therapy. One is a Psychologist (they cannot prescribe drugs) and the other is a Psychiatrist (they can prescribe drugs). But basically, as far as the treatment, they both do the same thing. They sit and listen and ask questions and comment. There really isn't anything else to it. If you see a Psychiatrist, they will start you on a medicine that they think might help after talking with you the first time. Then they will up the dose if they don't think it's helping. But none of the drugs are hallucinogens or anything that will mess with your mind. They just help do, pretty much, what you said up there. Better sleep, better appetite, less anxiety, etc. It's mainly just someone you tell anything to and don't have to worry about it getting back to the people in your life that you cannot tell everything to.

P.S. There are some things they have to report to the authorities. For instance, if they feel you are a danger to yourself or someone else. It's a law they have to report. Otherwise you can say anything and it won't leave the office.

For what it's worth, Darious, I would much rather be addicted to counseling than to a lot of commonly prescribed medications. To a certain degree, counseling is a form of guided reflection. So, what's to lose? After all, the unexamined life is not worth living according to Socrates. He may have a point.
PB