This is the first place I found where I'm with a group of people who will understand how I feel. I suffer from Ulcerative Colitis. I've been in remission now for 3 years. But my last "episode," I bled for 11 weeks. That was the first time they put a bracelet on me as potentially needing a blood transfusion. Instead, I became anemic. Then, two months ago, the pain moved, and I was admitted to the hospital for a week. I'm not as bad off as some people... yet... but it got me thinking. I'm almost 45, with two grown daughters, and if they perform a colostomy on me... who is gonna want me like that? I'm still me: funny, serious, compassionate, slightly shy, caring, and very loving. If I can't find anyone to settle down with when I was well... who is gonna want me sick? It made me depressed and feeling alone. So here I am.
Do not get down on yourself, I surfed through UC for 20 years. Once they removed the colon, life is much better.
Hi Flmom. If your primary focus is asking, "Who is gonna want me like that?" you may not get very far. Instead, focus on who and what you want. The most attractive people I have found are not narcissistic but definitely comfortable in their own skins. Self-pity is a major turn-off. I know this is a lot easier to say than to do, but it is true. Since I had my colon removed, I actually have made a lot more friends and am having more fun in life. Life is much better, as Domingo says. Good luck!
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I am scheduled for my reversal on 12/4. All my pre-admin stuff is completed and my GI signed off on the clearance letter this morning. I am super excited and looking forward to not having a bag. I just hope all goes well and heals well so I don't wake up with a temp bag which will lead to yet another surgery.
I have learned a lot from this website and will continue to be on here even after surgery. To all the ostomates out there, keep your heads up and keep pressing forward. We all have good and bad days. Best of luck to you all.
I will be sure to post my progress after surgery. I'm praying for you all.
Hi Flmom! From what you said, you've been very sick, and the year before, I had my operation, so was I. After my colon was removed, I started feeling so much better. Yes, it's a life-changing event with good days and bad ones, but you get used to it. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I wasn't looking for someone to be with because I thought no one would want me, but guess what? I found someone who knows EVERYTHING about my situation, and he doesn't care! Hang in there and try to just take one day at a time. I wish you the BEST!!
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I think you have to first be happy with yourself before you can expect anyone else to be happy around you. Take some time and see what is really important. Why worry about settling down before you even meet someone? Stressing yourself over possibilities is unnecessary and unhealthy for you and everyone around you.
Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
