Hi folks! I had my ileo surgery a year ago on the 28th and everything has been going okay! I thought I was positive and had accepted it, but the last few days have been awful! I'm itching under the flange and have changed it multiple times over 3 days just so I can have a good scratch. He's also been very active; yesterday we were giving a friend a lift and my hubby braked hard, and the bag was so full that it squished it and it came out of all sides all over me...we were about 40 mins from home as well! I couldn't stop crying and eventually wore myself out about 9pm last night, but today I still feel bad!
I've been unable to work, my doctors have told me that I cannot exercise (or do anything that will create excess sweat) and he also took me off my multivitamins as he reckons that was making my output too watery and too frequent! So I'm sitting here with 3 cold sores, no money to go out even if I wanted to, and feeling very sorry for myself!
This isn't normal for me, I've been so positive but now I just keep thinking this is me for the rest of my life and I'm only 35!! Are these normal feelings? For all out there that have accepted your situation, do you have times when you just want to curl up and say "F**k off" to the world? How did you get over it or pass it?
I've made an appointment with my doctor to talk over my next step! Due to the Crohn's, there's still a lot of food I cannot eat, so how am I to get my vitamins if I cannot eat them or take tablets, how am I to get fit and lose the weight that the meds put on if I can't exercise? Surely the doctors have got to help me somehow!! This ISN'T my fault; I didn't ask for any of this! I'm the biggest I've ever been thanks to the steroids that were supposed to stop me from having the op, but they didn't work and I ended up having the op anyway and now can't shift the weight! Am I asking for too much too soon?
Thanks for reading this; I just needed to vent and get my feelings out as my hubby, who is very supportive, just doesn't understand! He keeps telling me that he still loves me no matter what size, but that's not the reason I need to lose weight!
I keep trying to reason with myself, saying that this time last year I was in a very bad place and there are people out there worse off than me, but even that's not helping me today and I'm never a selfish person!! Hope you're all having a better day than me! xxxx
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