Ostomy Memories of Dealing With It

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APPROACHING OUR 55TH ANNIVERSAY, my wife and I marvel at the permanence of our relationship.  We have passed beyond love into something indefinable, a kind of unification of spirit.  We were married in 1968, a traumatic time in the USA, punctuated by assassinations and upheaval and an unpopular war.  Thinking about it makes me aware of my own insignificance.  My ileostomy is how I avoided Vietnam.  Over all the years, I have never been able to get used to the seemingly thoughtless violence and the vast chasm that separates the haves from the have-nots around me.  I try to pay attention to the little joys and maintain my sense of humor against the constant onslaught of failure and ugliness swirling about us.  I remember with sadness the days when we had flawed heroes rather than no heroes at all.  I tell myself to keep my eyes open and not to look away and, if I cannot understand, at least try to stay level-headed.  It is important to keep my mind’s Rolodex up-to-date.  If I can’t separate the wheat from the chaff, my diet may suffer.  

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"I tell myself to keep my eyes open and not to look away and, if I cannot understand, at least try to stay level-headed." - Challenging in these times when we just can't believe the insensitivity swirling around us, Henry, but wonderful words of wisdom. Trying to stay level-headed actually keeps the anxiety at bay and allows for more understanding of others. And it keeps us sane. A win-win.

How to Empty a Urostomy Pouch | Hollister

P.S. Happy almost #55 to you and your wife!


The emerald gemstone represents rebirth, suggesting that&mdasheven after 55 years together&mdasha couple can continue to learn and grow together through new experiences. The 55th anniversary flower, the calla lily, represents devotion, loyalty, and the ability to see and feel magnificent beauty both within and in the outside word. How fitting!

May every moment of your life together be blessed with the happiness you both deserve. And using the coined words of HenryM (MAO site), "Continue to be a verb." K


I was born in '68, so not everything was bad. Congrats to your wife for dealing with you for this long.


Happy Anniversary my friend!


One of your better posts Henry, you wise soul. At least I know there is still some intelligent life left in Florida. And a very happy 55th to you and your wife. How lucky you both are to have found each other.


Reply to AlexT

As I said, it was a tumultuous time, and here you are to prove it.  LOL  


Hey Henry, thanks again for all of it.  Bev and I got married in ’62, the day after her 20th birthday.  We had to wait because her dad refused to be the father of a teenaged bride.  Less than 10 months later our little girl arrived and that miracle kept ME out of Nam.  So we spent the last 60 years a lot like you two and we’re still learning each other.  Maybe that’s not possible because we’re actually changing with time.  I still feel blessed as we share our aches and pains along with the glory of a great granddaughter.  We’re not imume, however, to the “failure and ugliness” to which you allude.  We remember when we were so proud of OUR country, it’s leaders for the most part and most of the folks who made up the “We” in “We the People”.  We’re not sure it’ll ever be that way again but we’ll continue to thrive on the memories and hope and pray for a better future for those following us.



Reply to iMacG5

Hello Mike
You and Henry are fortunate to be in NJ and Florida, there are worse places believe me, and political upheavals that can drive you crazy. I used to go to Drew University in Madison NJ, a short drive from NYC. Beautiful grounds. They were nice enough to allow us meeting there and play cricket. I believe they are affiliated to the United Methodist faith. Many congratulations to you and Henry for safely traversing such a long and happy married life. Best wishes.


Sincere thanks, Bowsprit.


Reply to kmedup

Henry I must say I'm Happy to here all this Henry and congratulations with years married awesome and You make me feel better in different ways! I been down and depressed been single and I don't like it! But anyway it's about your 55 years with it wow and I hope many more years! I know your a strong person and that's important and yo have a partner is important
I'm trying to figure out what to eat because everything is not good for me like dairy and veg and fruits as I eat some Cooked well

Hope your feeling good today and enjoy

I haven't been here much hope all is good!


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