APPROACHING OUR 55TH ANNIVERSAY, my wife and I marvel at the permanence of our relationship. We have passed beyond love into something indefinable, a kind of unification of spirit. We were married in 1968, a traumatic time in the USA, punctuated by assassinations and upheaval and an unpopular war. Thinking about it makes me aware of my own insignificance. My ileostomy is how I avoided Vietnam. Over all the years, I have never been able to get used to the seemingly thoughtless violence and the vast chasm that separates the haves from the have-nots around me. I try to pay attention to the little joys and maintain my sense of humor against the constant onslaught of failure and ugliness swirling about us. I remember with sadness the days when we had flawed heroes rather than no heroes at all. I tell myself to keep my eyes open and not to look away and, if I cannot understand, at least try to stay level-headed. It is important to keep my mind’s Rolodex up-to-date. If I can’t separate the wheat from the chaff, my diet may suffer.

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