Hi everyone,
I'm Niamh... I've been a member for over a year but have been a bit quiet. Just felt I needed to post this... I'm feeling really down at the minute.
I've had an ostomy since 2009 after 2 years of hell with UC. I had a boyfriend all through my illness but he couldn't accept the bag after the op and the relationship broke down 9 months later.
I've only recently felt like getting out there and meeting somebody. I'm a really loving and affectionate person and miss having somebody to share my life with. I met a really nice guy a couple of months ago and we started to date. It was playing on my mind about telling him about the bag so last week when we were chatting... I told him.
He seemed to take it really well.... just saying nobody is perfect. The following week he was hardly in contact with me so I knew something was up. Eventually last night I got talking to him and it turns out that he doesn't know if he can get his head around the bag. I've explained to him that it was a life and death situation and that I should be able to get the reversal done. He was very apologetic about it but doesn't make it any easier to accept.
I really think I'm destined to be alone forever.... I keep thinking back when I was first told I had to have the bag and the horror that went through my head. I don't think any man will ever accept this.
What's the point in even trying anymore to find somebody???

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Talking about having an ostomy can be uncomfortable for most people. Still, it's something you can't always avoid.
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Learn about some strategies that can make it easier to talk about your stoma.