Hi everyone,
I'm Niamh... I've been a member for over a year but have been a bit quiet. Just felt I needed to post this... I'm feeling really down at the minute.
I've had an ostomy since 2009 after 2 years of hell with UC. I had a boyfriend all through my illness but he couldn't accept the bag after the op and the relationship broke down 9 months later.
I've only recently felt like getting out there and meeting somebody. I'm a really loving and affectionate person and miss having somebody to share my life with. I met a really nice guy a couple of months ago and we started to date. It was playing on my mind about telling him about the bag so last week when we were chatting... I told him.
He seemed to take it really well.... just saying nobody is perfect. The following week he was hardly in contact with me so I knew something was up. Eventually last night I got talking to him and it turns out that he doesn't know if he can get his head around the bag. I've explained to him that it was a life and death situation and that I should be able to get the reversal done. He was very apologetic about it but doesn't make it any easier to accept.
I really think I'm destined to be alone forever.... I keep thinking back when I was first told I had to have the bag and the horror that went through my head. I don't think any man will ever accept this.
What's the point in even trying anymore to find somebody???

This is a remarkable community of 40,921 members.
You will get real advice from fellow ostomates who truly understand you - things you won't find in the books.
And it's not all about ostomy - there is friendship and relationships too.
Privacy is very important - your profile is not visible to the outside world.
Bill
MEETANOSTOMATE REVIEW.
I’d like to write a nice review
that might express something quite new.
Then I read previous points of view,
which said the things I wanted to.
I would endorse the things I’ve read
about what other folks have said,
for these are the benefits and things
that joining a site like this can bring.
When I was an initiate, (novice)
it seemed to be appropriate
to express myself in rhyme
as this is how I spend my time.
When contemplating what to write
with contributing to this site,
it seemed to me, my ostomy
could be expressed in poetry.
Thus, when I had something to say,
a rhyme, for me seemed the best way,
for rhymes can often capture stuff
that prose don’t capture quite enough.
I do appreciate the way,
this site lets people have their say
in whatever mode they will
about the things that make them ill.
There are not many forums for
discussing stuff most folks abhor.
So, this site fulfils a small niche,
where angst and problems can unleash.
Where raw emotions can decant,
so, folks feel free to have a rant,
and we can all associate
is something I appreciate.
B. Withers 2021
Read what they had to say.
Learn how to care for your loved one, while still taking care of yourself.