SANTA & MRS CLAUS ON XMAS EVE

SCENE:  NORTH POLE KITCHEN  

Mrs. Claus:  You got everything ready for your big night?

Santa:  I’m all set.  (He sips some hot tea.)

Mrs. Claus:  Are you going to change your appliance before you leave?

Santa:  I am.  I’m going with the one-piece Hollister tonight.

Mrs. Claus:  What if you have to empty before you’re through?

Santa:  I figure I can just do a quick dump over Mar-a-Lago on the way down the Florida coast.

Mrs. Claus: (Laughing) Think he’ll notice?

Santa:  Unlikely.  

Mrs. Claus:  What’ve you got to give him for Xmas?

Santa:  Oh, that was easy.  A civics textbook and a copy of ‘Boost Your Vocabulary.’

Mrs. Claus:  But the man doesn’t read!

Santa:  They’re audiobooks.  

Mrs. Claus:  But he doesn’t listen either!

Santa:  Do you have a better idea?

Mrs. Claus puzzles over it momentarily.

Mrs. Claus:  Give him a Monopoly set.  It combines his three strong suits:  real estate, delusion, and other people’s money.  

THEY LAUGH TOGETHER.  MRS. CLAUS STROKES SANTA’S BEARD.

Mrs. Claus:  See you later, Sweetie.  (She winks lasciviously.)  

THE LIGHTS GO DIM AS SANTA EXITS HEADED FOR HIS SLEIGH.  REINDEER SNORTING CAN BE HEARD OFF STAGE.  

Priceless Henry!

👍

You give us a hearty chuckle. 🤣 Something the profession—professionals—do not.

Season's Greetings to you and Mrs. H.

Politics shouldn't be part of Christmas. However, since you 🫵 brought it up, at least Trump would realize he got shit on. Biden would just wallow in it, not knowing what was going on.

Yes, well, Trump thinks he got shit on if someone disagrees with him.  Maintain your sense of humor for Xmas, AlexT.  Joking is a valid part of Xmas.  

It's a "social talk forum" where everything and anything is up for grabs on this platform.

Not about our shit bags, stomas, or caring for them.

Although... there are parallels. Perhaps Biden... I mean... er um... hidden between the lines.🤔👍.. that trumps all.

Your opinions, expressed positively or negatively, are spirit.

Love you guys and girls here. We've got spirit though.

My Ostomy Journey: Bruce | Hollister

🤣

I’m just messing with you too Henry. 😉

So clever, so funny and so 'spot on'!  First big belly laugh of the day.  I will be reading this one to my husband, as I know he will enjoy it as much as I did.  Merry Christmas Henry! 

Terry

My husband just read your post.  I think our neighbours could hear him laughing.

Terry

(Psst, Henry... Alex gave you the finger). Fondly, however. 👍

Henry, you struck gold. Thanks for the holiday cheer.

I thought vile curse words were a violation of MaO's rules?  Obviously baloney.  Magas can't speak w/o childish potty words.  You live along the Misery River?  worst area of Omaha.

Vile curse words? Against mao rules? Hmm ( whispering...only if u get caught)👍🤭