My daughter has been on my case for the last 6 years about dating. More so since I've had my ostomy surgery. I have Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP), so I had everything below the small intestine removed: colon, anus, rectum (wince). I already had horrible self-esteem, so you can imagine what my self-esteem was like after my surgery.
But, God bless my lovely daughter. I was so angry with her at first, but she went through my closets at 5 months after the surgery and had me start trying on things to see what would and would not work, and then dragged me out to the mall for a wardrobe change. Well, I have this new wardrobe and I don't go anywhere, so somehow, this crazy girl has set me up with a lunch date today. Evidently, she knows a chef who's my age and is divorced, and they are friends, so we're having a friendly lunch and she's coming along to make sure that I don't bolt for the door.
Oh Lord, I'm a nervous wreck. Wish me luck everyone, I hope I don't dribble soup down my chin, or my ostomy doesn't decide to start making gurgling noises to make her presence known. And heaven help me if the gas starts and my bag swells to the size of a baseball while we're nibbling salad. LOL.
Good luck on your date; hope to hear how it turned out. I have been on a couple of dates and really don't worry about what my little princess decides to do. If she makes a noise, I just say - oops, that was me, give a little laugh, and continue the conversation. You will do great, but stop worrying about what could happen and flow with it. Your daughter is correct; you can either adjust to your situation or be alone and lonely for the rest of your life.
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Hubz had a regular checkup with the oncologist on Friday (his numbers are improving), and as they were asking how he's feeling since surgery, they became curious about how he's doing so well with his ostomy, both physically and mentally. He credited doing research online, trying different things, and especially the support from this group. They were asking because they see so many patients struggling to adjust.
We described this group as folks with every kind of ostomy, some for days while others for decades, but all willing to share what's worked for them with the caveat that every individual is different.
We described the most valuable element as feeling like you're not alone in this. That really piqued their interest, and they wrote down the link. It seems they had a few people in mind that might benefit from the community and thanked us for telling them about it.
You know, we can't remember exactly who we learned about this group from, but we're grateful for it every day! Thank you all! 🌻
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Kudos to your daughter for her perseverance. Try to relax and have a good time on your date. Remember, the ostomy doesn't make you any less of a person. Let that personality shine!
How to Stay Hydrated with an Ostomy with Collin | Hollister
Thanks y'all
I went, I ate, I laughed... and didn't have any mishaps. It was actually fun and I think I will take my daughter out on all of my dates from now on. (Just joking!)
Sounds like there are to be more dates in the future!!
When you get brave enough to go on a "double" as opposed to a "triple" date, are you aware of ostomysecrets.com? I'd recommend you check them out. Either one of their wraps, or a stealth belt, but I think Ostomy Secrets are prettier and easier to use. I saw these at a recent WOCN convention in Florida. The stealth belt is sportier, but seems very difficult to get the pouch set up.
Good luck!!
Oh, yes. My ostomy nurse actually had me looking at their website before my surgery. I like the Stealth Belt also and was going to give them a try and see if I can wear jeans again.
As for the second and third date... we'll have to see about that. LOL
Male, 87 years old. I had my colon and other things removed on my 72nd birthday, and a lot has happened since. But my reason for writing is to tell you, there is someone for everyone. Next Sat, May 12, my new wife and I are celebrating our 11th anniversary. Figure it out: colon cancer at age 72, married at age 76, and still going strong. Good luck
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Best of luck. When my ostomy starts making noise at the table, I just say it is my stomach thanking me for feeding it! Have fun and let us know what happens.
Barbara
I am so happy for you, one that you did go, and then you had a great time! Okay... now if I can just 'conjure' up the courage! LOL... Just gotta get out the 'big girl panties' and deal with it, I guess! Just so glad this worked out for you! xoxoxo
Aww...that's wonderful! Your daughter is such a blessing and loves you so much to get you out like that on a date. So cool! I'm glad it went well!! (hugs)
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YAYYYY!!!
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Do you feel better about things now considering how the date actually went?