Hi guys, I'm confused by my body - the background is: I've known a guy for about seven years. I used to see him standing very quietly with his mates at a night club I used to go to, and he'd occasionally be looking at me. To cut a long story short, it took five years for me to be the one to approach him and say 'hi'. I was married at the time (getting divorced now), and there was no way I would be anything more than friends. We danced occasionally (he obviously plucked up the confidence!). I gave him my number to text as a friend, we kept in contact via email/text throughout my illness, and I was honest about what was wrong with me, my operations, wearing a wig at the time when the infection and severe anorexia made my hair fall out. I left my husband last year as he was a real 'Jekyll and Hyde', one day being the most caring, supportive guy a girl could wish for, the next very nasty/spiteful/threatening, and eventually his abusive behaviour made me hit rock bottom when I was in the hospital again. Since then, until recently, I hadn't seen my friend at all, as I stopped going to the club because I moved nearer to my work, and we never saw each other out of it. He has now been to see me 5 times, texted me while away on holiday with mates abroad. I was terrified of being 'intimate' with him, partly because of 'Henrietta', my stoma, and the fact I'd had rejection from my husband long before I had my first stoma, low self-esteem, etc. I've found someone who is truly genuine, he says it doesn't change who I am. We have been sexual twice now, and I wear a clingy top that I just pull the top down on and let it cover my bag, which I've already emptied beforehand and taped up out of view - he has said he would not know I had one if I hadn't told him lol! The 'confusion' bit is this: I've bled slightly both times. I'm 47, have two grown-up children, and it feels like my already retroverted uterus has 'shifted' further since my last operation in February. I'm wondering whether this is the operation, my age, or enforced celibacy for so long - I'm shy to ask my consultant, and yes, there is pain afterward, which I hide very well. I don't want to let him think he's hurt me at all.
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