Hello, welcome to the site. We all have trouble when we first start...you will learn how to master this, so have faith...that is the most important thing.
Everyone is different, so you have to find what works best for your situation and skin type, body shape, etc.
Most ostomy supply makers will send you a few free samples of different type flanges, pouches, etc to try and see what works best. Most also have a customer service person who can help you with some simple problems.
The first and most important step to a good seal is the prep before installing your flange.
One of the most common mistakes made by newbies is using a soap which contains perfumes, lotions, moisturizers, etc..... IT WILL NOT HOLD
The skin MUST be clean and DRY... I use yellow dial soap, others may work.... throw everything else out, so you don't forget.
SHAVE the area if it has hair, pat dry with a paper towel or toilet paper.
LOOK at your skin, is it smooth, non-red or inflamed?? It is the "foundation" on which you build, if inflamed it must be treated (some folks use Mylanta).
APPLY a good skin prep, I prefer the wipe on's that contain alcohol, this seals the skin and makes it slightly "tacky"
THROW OUT THE PASTE, get some free samples of the "Eakin ring" or one of the knock-offs
Put the ring directly on the prepped skin
Put on your flange, AFTER you CAREFULLY determine the size of the hole, it must be snug, but have a little clearance.
I use a rigid type flange that is "convex".... again, get samples of both types to try.
Now, you have everything in place, why not write it down someplace...the date, the product used, etc...you can track the performance of the different products this way.
Now... WHAT are you EATING?? Eat several small meals/snacks and avoid large meals.... watch your fiber intake... eat high protein low fiber foods..that will satisfy your hunger and not cause excessive output. I avoid most grains...they also cause a lot of gas for me.
Please keep us posted of your progress, ask any questions, everyone here will help you.
Once you are more experienced, you may want to consider irrigation IF you qualify.... more on that later. Regards. MMsh