Finding Love and Acceptance with My Stoma and Size

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Squeeze43

Since I had my stoma done in 09, I've had no confidence in looking for another partner. After my ex couldn't cope when I had my first bag in 05, he put me down and said not nice things that stick in your head. You can see from my photos that I'm only tiny in frame and body (skinny), so I get a lot of funny looks because of my size.

It would be nice to meet someone that understands and accepts me for who I am. But I think that will never happen.

Past Member

It takes time to get your self-confidence back, especially after your ex treated you like that. But the right man is out there somewhere, waiting to meet you, and he won't care about your bag, just pleased it's made your life better. And after seeing your photos, I can see why people stop and look at you. It's because you're a beautiful woman. You just need to get your confidence back and believe in yourself.

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Sandywr

There is someone out there for you. They will find you. My husband is just really happy that I am pain-free and happy in my life after my colostomy.

gordonc

Your maybe skinny, but you do have a great sense of humor, you make me smile anyway!!!!! Keep looking Lou there's someone out there! ;xx

GraphX12

If your ex treated you that way, he wasn't worth keeping around anyway. I have been fortunate to have a loving and accepting wife who is just happy I am still alive. Hang in there, you will meet someone worth meeting one day.

 
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Redondo

I agree with the others.... People look at you because you are beautiful. Never say never. Someone special will come along that will see the beauty inside of you, too. Many blessings.

Tippy

Take good care of yourself first, and the rest will come to you when you least expect it to. X

johnmckenna

I haven't been on for months... I posted a while back as bf of an ostomate needing some advice and support to help her get some of her confidence back. I'm still madly deeply in love with this wonderful beautiful, funny girl. Her ostomy has never and will never be a negative thing for me, if anything, I am eternally grateful as it has made her quality of life so much better and possibly even saved her life.

I can in no way speak for all guys out there, because yes, there are jerks out there...
But there are guys out there who want to share their life with someone regardless of the presence of a bag. I can't begin to imagine how difficult and scary it can be to start dating again, but I really hope you are able to get enough confidence back so you can start meeting guys and at some point you will find the right guy, who accepts you for you.

PS. You look stunning, and I am sure a lot of guys would love to get a chance to get to know you

Squeeze43

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. As yet, I'm still very single and had no bits, as we would say :-(, which makes me feel down and think I'll never find a lovely man to share what I've got left of my short life.

As I've been told, I've not got long left due to weight and lung problems, so I think I will be single now till the end :-(

You're so lucky to have a lovely girl by your side and stayed with you throughout, hun. X

macsac1

Women in England always seem so open-minded and fun. Too bad you aren't in the states. I'm sorry to hear you are having problems with your lungs. Are you a smoker?

Squeeze43

Hi,

I'm not a smoker now. I started having trouble with my lungs back in 05, but the doctor said in 09 when I was taken bad with my lungs that the right one popped, and everything they did to save the lung has damaged it. So, I live with it all now. It's not too bad. I've just changed my lifestyle.

Thanks for the message.

Squeeze.

mario10zeus

Squeeze, you're a beautiful woman. My technique has been to act as if the bag is no big deal, people are taken aback. When you act as if the bag doesn't bring you down, people admire you, even if you feel awkward inside. Once people treat you equally, your confidence grows. And I have been able to date with the bag. Now, I'm also very fit, which also surprises since not many people expect an athletic person wearing a bag.

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