Hi JQ
There is definitely a huge age gap between us but you will be surprised how some of your situations are common ;to mine. Obviously not the pregnancy and marriage..lol
I was diagnosed with UC since i was 2, that's what i been told and what the medical reports state. Gonna turn up 25 in February. So that's like 23 years of UC. The surgery had not fixed everything, and still dealing with UC manifestations outside the colon and the long run side effects of treatments.
Yes i been home taught as well and haven't gone to school regularly till I turned up 14 or 15!. Since that, education experience was just a mess and hated every single memory of it. Not just because of illness. But, made it to the honours university degree. It was 10 times harder for me and had to turn around too many situations and deal with situations that are ;way beyond my age at that time. I had to deal with those situations on my own, even some medical situations, as I was not very close to family since I turned up 16. Some of those situations still stuck in my head. Thus, current anxiety triggered all those situations and even revealed some shocking situations that I have completely forgotten.
I know it's kind of weird to take advice or listen to someone who is probably close to your daughter's age, but we deal with something – believe it or not - off the norm. Since you are 45 now, there is no point remembering any of those situations or digging after it. What's done is done and you are now far beyond those moments. Having said that, will share with you why I recommend that. What happened to me is, I kept remembering those childhood and education experience situations till I had flash backs of shocking situations that I have completely forgotten when I was at very young age. After investigation, it was true flash backs and not delusion. I was better off not remembering those situations again because they are just horrible and could drive anyone who experienced into a mad person. Can't even share them easily
No one told me ignorance is bliss, or probably been told that but never paid attention to it- cant remember-. I had to learn that in the ugliest way. I probably had anxiety for most of my life which was left untreated, this did put me in the dark whole of substance abuse and mad thoughts once I got older in age. Now I only focus on anxiety treatments rather than ending up in a cage.
The –what if –question could lead to creativity as well as destruction. I did over think – what if- questions till all my fears came true in front of my eyes, and didn't have a solution for it, because i only thought of it from the fear side and not how to avoid it or how I would fix it. Would been much better if I had said to myself, if this happens I should do this and not over think it. -The devil is in the detail-.
Having those thoughts about I should of had the surgery 10 or 20 years ago is kind of tricky one. I should of had the surgery when i was 7 and only had it the last year November 2013 – 17 years later!!_ Just after my graduation. So, will try balance things for you here...
If u had the surgery let's say 15-20 ;years ago you would think i would been much better, at least i would avoid all those accidents, hospitalization, endo-oscopies, embarrassments , anxiety, side effects etc ;when you where younger. But hold up, the ostomy supplies are now 10 times better than before. Also, U probably wouldn't handle the surgery shock when you where younger, or ended up so anxious that you couldn't even be confident marry who you loved now.
For myself, i would not have the guts to continue education and become a survival if I had the surgery when i were 7- 10 years old. I know i wouldn't handle it and would end up somewhere else. On the other hand, the disease- uc- ;had several manifestation in my body from head to toe as well as long term medecation side effects.
I kept thinking this over and over, cycles in ;cycles, till i ended up with a blown head ,confusion, racing thoughts , and even so close to jump in a deep lake. I don't dare to just tell you get over it because I hated everyone who told me that. On the other hand, realistically, u cant time travel. Respect how you got it over it before with prayers. I been there and wouldn't been alive today if I had given that up. It is the only thing that didn't me let go with ending up my own life.
Wish i had delivered my point here and hope this makes you think brighter. From the marriage and pregnancy questions, there are too many awesome ladies on this website who have tons of life experience and dealt with all kind of situations. If you think this reply had helped you where I'm only 24, imagine how much assistance you can get from someone who s 50+ !!. They can provide you with unlimited help.. Give it a try and you will be surprised. People who are willing to help, with nothing in return, do usually come across who requires it. You will also feel comfortable talking about your situations to them.. I tried that myself, and discussed very complicated issues with them while I couldn't even do that with my own family.
sorry for being long,Allow typo errors and grammer :D:D
Happy new year to you