Hello friends iv been in this group for almost a year and due to radiation burn i lost some organs and the use of my penis melted it to my groin. And iv tryed changing my thinking process of a differently was of having sex and with having a colostomy and urostomy on my belly iii just don't see a female being interested in me. But I'd veryyyy much like to meet a very open minded woman even if she's got medical problems. Anyways just feeling veryyyy lonely and depressed God bless
Hippieonmission
Mar 29, 2017 10:34 pm
Mrs.A
Apr 01, 2017 2:52 am
Hi Hippieonmission,
So sorry your feeling lonely and depressed. I think we have all felt the same way at one time or another. I would like to suggest you go out and enjoy some of the things in life that interest you where there are plemty of folks around. Maybe you will meet someone and start a great friendship. If nothing else it is always good to get out and do something you enjoy to brighten your day. You could even take up a new interest. Finding a common interest is a great start to most relationships, have fun and maybe even learn more about ourselves.
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Posted by: Nini4
Well, I hit the two year mark. I went back and read my posts from when I first found this site. I was very fortunate in that I stumbled upon it only 4 weeks post op. I have said many times that this community really saved me. The first 2 weeks after my surgery I shut down completely. It wasn't until about the 3rd week that my son came in to my room, flicked on the light and told me I was going to have to get back to living because I was scaring him. I had fallen into such a depression. He ticked me off, but it also made me stop and think- what was I going to do? Feel sorry for myself and sulk, or be grateful I was alive.
I've re-read my journals from that time and it was after my son kicked my butt, so to speak, I took an honest inventory and had to dig deeper than I've ever had to. I mean, I had survived a pretty nasty divorce, after a pretty crappy marriage and that was tough. But this was different. I felt like I was now a handicapped person who would be limited in their life and be looked at as a freak. My mental state was precarious, at best.
But then I found this site. I just lurked a bit before posting. I read so many of the other stories and I started to see just how full my life can be, I was not handicapped, and certainly not a freak! The stories of survival, the sense of humor, the support and compassion was inspiring. It was then I made myself get out of the dark, and get my sh*t together.
Not all rainbows and sunshine at first, hardly! But with grace from myself - to myself, and the kindness and willingness of the folks here to be supportive, non judgemental and openly share intimate details about their life circumstances, l not only survived but thrived.
I think of all the years I had suffered with such extreme pain, barely functioning, and the many hospital stays and how that is all behind me now. (All fingers, toes, and legs crossed that I never have to go near a hospital for myself ever again. I think I'd rather have a fork stuck in my eye. I loathe every about them.)
So, to everyone who has been a part of this journey with me, to say thank you is not enough. I'm forever grateful to know you all. My Angels, each one of you.
And as the Grateful Dead famously said,
"what a long strange trip it's been!"
Im so happy I'm tripping with you all.
NotDeadYet
Apr 02, 2017 7:48 am
Hippie:
How old are you? There are lots of women out there that are REALLY tired of sexual pressure from men. Oh my goodness if you were to advertise in a singles column with "I don't want sex I just want to make a beautiful home with you" you'd probably be SWAMPED with responses. MEN think that penises are ALL of it, so I'm sorry for what you're going through.
Women actually are looking more for what you offer, that ISN'T sexual. They want your soft side, your romance, and your strength (no, NOT sexual strength!).
Men play at love to get sex, Women play at sex to get love. The love bit is what they're really after, and that's what you offer, so keep honest and go with that!
Don't be lonely, you have your ostomates. Don't be depressed, it's a waste of time. If you have no land, you can still find an odd piece somewhere to plant seeds or a tree. If you feel down, plant a spark of life or smile for the next generation. It's a start. You started HERE, and I'm smiling now.
Keep communicating, keep it going!
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