Hi Louise,
You don't say how long you have your ostomy. I have mine for more than 50 plus years, since I was a child of 15. After 4 years of being sick with ulcerative colitis, out of school, in and out of hospitals, countless numbers of experimental treatments, transfusions, medications ....I was ready to embrace anything that would get me back to a normal life. I think my parents took it harder than I did. Back in the old days, it wwasn't easy to find good supplies, especially for teen, but I managed. It wasn't always easier, but it was certainly better than the bathroom 40x a day..... I was back in school, and adappting to all the changes...It takes time, but each ostomate figures out for him/ herself, how to cope. When I first dated, I chose not to tell. If a relationship seemed to be getting serious, ( or If I thought we'd " make out) then I explained the surgery. For some it mattered, for others it didn't. Eventually I became engaged to a guy who also had an ileostomy.....and although we had some good years together, the surgery alone wasn't enough to keep us together. But we had two children, and divorced after 24 1/2 years. So here I am again, nearly 70, and still dating, trying to find that one special guy. I'm more open these days, since time seems to be moving so fast. Despite the ostomy, I've traeled extensively....flying, cruising, sailing, driving trips... I swim, snorkle and have done most of the things I've wanted to do......Considering thaat I was such a sick kid, I feel like the ostomy is my badge of survival, and I'm a walking talking miracle. Give yourself the time to mourn the change, and then follow some of the suggestions the other ostomates suggested. You will find support and friendship here, and just write, or post questions , and people will answer. Best of luck. Marsha