I had Crohn's and got an ileostomy in 2009. I am a 65-year-old man who has been married since 1972. I have read similar stories as mine on this site. My wife is my ostomy nurse (she helps me shave and change my bag). I don't know what I would do without her. But, that is where the love stops. Since the surgery, we have become nothing more than roommates. The sex and romance are gone. It wasn't great for the ten years of battling Crohn's prior to my surgery either. She simply has no interest and will not talk about it. She hasn't looked me in the eyes and told me she loves me in a long time. She doesn't kiss me goodnight anymore. She hasn't asked for sex in twenty years. I have contemplated divorce for many years. Since the surgery, I have a mild case of ED, requiring a 1/4 Viagra, I believe due to nerve damage. The one or two feeble attempts at sex each year end in no orgasm for me. Her attention span for sex is 4-5 minutes. I have read a lot of posts about this subject but no solutions. I am lonely and there are no options left it appears. I guess that if I was single, there would be a glimmer of hope because I could maybe find a lady with an ileostomy and who still wants to get intimate.

This is a remarkable community of 40,916 members.
You will get real advice from fellow ostomates who truly understand you - things you won't find in the books.
And it's not all about ostomy - there is friendship and relationships too.
Privacy is very important - your profile is not visible to the outside world.
Marjatta
This group has been my go-to during my loneliest hours whenever I've had a "bag blowout" at 3am and there was no one else in the world to talk to.
Because it's a global community, there's always someone here to lend an ear, provide advice, and just hold my hand if that's all I need.
Sure, there's also a lot of camaraderie, fun topics, and laughs, but the main reason I come here is for the total acceptance I get from the members. No one else on the planet could possibly "get" what I'm going through, not even my loving husband or supportive family.
The "Meet an Ostomate" forum is definitely a one-of-a-kind family, which I am very proud to belong to.
M
xo
Learn about some strategies that can make it easier to talk about your stoma.
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