I had Crohn's and got an ileostomy in 2009. I am a 65-year-old man who has been married since 1972. I have read similar stories as mine on this site. My wife is my ostomy nurse (she helps me shave and change my bag). I don't know what I would do without her. But, that is where the love stops. Since the surgery, we have become nothing more than roommates. The sex and romance are gone. It wasn't great for the ten years of battling Crohn's prior to my surgery either. She simply has no interest and will not talk about it. She hasn't looked me in the eyes and told me she loves me in a long time. She doesn't kiss me goodnight anymore. She hasn't asked for sex in twenty years. I have contemplated divorce for many years. Since the surgery, I have a mild case of ED, requiring a 1/4 Viagra, I believe due to nerve damage. The one or two feeble attempts at sex each year end in no orgasm for me. Her attention span for sex is 4-5 minutes. I have read a lot of posts about this subject but no solutions. I am lonely and there are no options left it appears. I guess that if I was single, there would be a glimmer of hope because I could maybe find a lady with an ileostomy and who still wants to get intimate.

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We sat down with two influential people in the ostomy community, to find out how they cope during challenging times.
Read what they had to say.
Read what they had to say.
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Hollister
Talking about having an ostomy can be uncomfortable for most people. Still, it's something you can't always avoid.
Learn about some strategies that can make it easier to talk about your stoma.
Learn about some strategies that can make it easier to talk about your stoma.