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Our Difference Is Your Destiny

Fri Mar 22, 2019 4:19 am
"This is the best website for people with an Ostomy, hands down. So much understanding. Everyone should join."

Analogy follows: 3 packs of cookies made by three different manufacturers. For instance, chocolate chip cookies, one pack made by Keebler, another made by Chips Ahoy, and finally Mrs. Hill. What makes them different? The recipe?

All three companies'yearly profit is about 1 million. Neither of the three are trying to steal the other's recipe. Why? Because they have there own and thats what makes them different.

In our society. We tend to follow others just to fit in. Some of us wear clothes that don't fit, shoes that hurt our poor feet and sometimes forgetting who we are. Are we living our truth?

In 2015, after recovering from my surgery, the shame that remained in my head wouldn't allow me to tell those people who I gathered with on Sundays.  Initially, a lady who I believed or considered to be a friend was in the restroom during a time when I was changing my pouch. So I shared some very personal information with her about my surgery. Well heck, I may as well had announced it to the whole group. Mind you, these are people whom I've had known for many years and some I actually love.

Listen, it took me until 2018 before I decided to share. I finally relented and told my story because of the frequent trips to the bathroom. well, Monica then said, "If I had to live like you, I would die!"I responded by saying, If I had to take care of your grandchildren I would die." Was it nice? absolutely not..... Last year I decided I would tell people about my condition myself. Therefore there would be no need for anyone to whisper. I had to own my issues, which stopped the gossiping.

Do we have to fit in? I say no, we don't. There are many examples of people who are just trying to fit in. It's ok to be different. It's ok to wear suits, it's ok to wear dresses and definetely ok to embrace your difference. You see I can be another. Only I and I truly mean me can be that person who I want or need to be.

In regards to our differences from those outside this group, we sometimes feel we are broken people because were different. I am talking about physical differences that sometimes affect us mentally. Leaving us with many types of hang-ups. Our husbands, wives, and lovers sometime change towards us. Some leave and some stay. Sometimes our differences isolate us and cause much loneliness.

We are all different, not because of the surgery. We were different long before that even took place. We talked, walked and looked different. Heck and that's just the basics of our identity. I can't be you nor can you be me. If I act like another, I lose myself and thats not good for me.. I mean, who or what am I changing for? What good would it do me to adapt to another person ways? Is it possibly to keep up with what society dictates?

Ther are days when I'm feeling down and even crying. But always in my mind there is hope. You only get one time around, only one rehersal. I have to get it right-if I don't there's no do over.

Best Wishes,


Last edited by Angelicamarie on Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:16 am; edited 1 time in total
Fri Mar 22, 2019 8:08 am

Angelica-I so enjoy your posts. Wish there were more people in the world like you. You are truly special!

MeetAnOstoMate - 27,382 members

Fri Mar 22, 2019 8:48 am

Angel, I think you're definitely getting it right. You don't need a do-over.   You're a unique individual and one I'm very pleased to call my friend.  Keep being who you are!

Sat Mar 23, 2019 6:24 pm

Angel, A very inspiring post. 

Sun Mar 24, 2019 2:02 am

Bagface, weirdnewlife and Morning glory: Your kind words are appreciated.  I see so many that are worse off than me -blind, paralysis and many other diseases that’s not curable. There’s always teachers around us, sometimes we listen and sometimes not. If you do listen. Then you’ll pass it to another - that’s what I try to do! 

Thanks Again....

Wed Apr 03, 2019 12:26 am

I used to look down as I walked and kept hitting walls. Curses followed. Then I started to look up. But still hit those walls. More cursing. So I painted the walls, hung up a few pictures and learned to appreciate them for what they are as well as what they are not... 

Wed Apr 03, 2019 2:11 am

Silveradokid...Sounds like you have come to terms with the change. Your comments reminded me of the serenity prayer. We all have our own way of adjusting to our new normal. Thanks so much for sharing!

Best Wishes, 


Thu Apr 04, 2019 10:02 am

I look at it this way.

Before my surgery (Procto Colectomy- Ileostomy-- year 2003) I was constantly running to the washroom, always in pain.Missing out on evening get together with friends, date nights with My wife etc...Basically not living but going through life's motions to survive.Surgery changed all of that.I now do it all...Golf,Camping,Travelling etc... Yes you have to be mindfull of blockages and irritations etc,,,but far better than pre-surgery. I have My live back ! Embrace life as you're still above ground.

I thank God everyday for My blessings.

Regards, Willy 

Thu Apr 04, 2019 7:18 pm

Willy, life is truly a blessing. Thanks for sharing!

Best Wishes,


Tue Dec 03, 2019 3:11 pm

Angelicamarie, I just saw this post and wanted to say I liked all the post. I guess I was not ashamed to tell people about my ostomey. Peole just seemed to accept it, at least I did not get any negative remarks or I didn't hear them. I figured if they did not accept me it was their loss not mine. I also enjoy your post I have read a lot of them.

Tue Dec 03, 2019 4:58 pm

Hi Lovely, thank you ... I appreciate your kindness  ....


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