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Sep 01, 2019

Compromises of Life as an Ostomate

This topic is about the various compromises and lifestyle changes that people often experience after undergoing ostomy surgery. It touches on personal reflections and offers advice for navigating these changes. Here are some insights and suggestions shared by others who have been through similar experiences:

- Body Image: After surgery, the abdomen may look different, leading to changes in clothing choices. High-waisted underwear might replace bikini styles, and tight garments like Spanx are usually avoided to prevent pressure on the stoma.

- Hygiene & Bathing: Relaxing baths with bubble bath might be swapped for showers to accommodate the new lifestyle.

- Wardrobe & Accessories: While some fitted clothes can still be worn, many choose outfits that prioritize comfort for the stoma. Handbags may be replaced by larger totes to carry necessary supplies like spare pouches, sanitizer, wipes, and baby oil.

- Diet: The digestive system may now limit certain foods that were previously enjoyed.

- Intimacy: Some may experience changes in their intimate relationships, such as no longer sharing a bed with a spouse or a decrease in sexual activity.

- Social Circle: While family might remain supportive, some friends may drift away, leaving a smaller circle of close friends.

Advice and insights from others include:

- Friends & Social Support: Recognize that some friends may not stick around after surgery, but cherish those who do. Understand that some people might avoid ostomates due to discomfort with illness, and it's okay to move on from them.

- Clothing & Everyday Gear: Opt for clothing that fits comfortably over the pouch and consider high-waisted undergarments. Carry a spacious tote with essential supplies for unexpected changes.

- Home Adaptations: If possible, redesign bathrooms to include extra space and supplies, which can reduce stress for everyone involved.

- Mental & Emotional Coping: Embrace the post-surgery phase as a "new normal." Creative outlets like writing can help process frustrations, and maintaining a sense of humor can be beneficial.

- Supporting "Watchers" (Family & Close Friends): Reassure loved ones with positive updates to help them cope with their worries. Show them that your core personality remains unchanged.

- Sex & Intimacy: Experiences vary widely; some find no change in their sex life, while others may face challenges. It's important not to use the bag as an excuse to avoid dating or new relationships. Support groups focusing on intimacy issues can be helpful.

- Activity & Lifestyle Goals: Set realistic goals, such as returning to certain activities while accepting some limitations. Celebrate the fact that you are alive despite any complications.

- General Attitude: Life can be unfair, but ostomates demonstrate resilience by overcoming adversity. Plan your recovery, work towards it, and remember that your condition is part of your journey, not just a detour.
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