This topic is about dealing with complications after a stoma-site hernia repair, particularly when a painful hernia suddenly returns. The person sharing their experience had a large parastomal hernia, and due to their health condition, a full repair wasn't possible. Instead, a mesh was used to manage the hernia. Unfortunately, they faced several post-surgery issues, including infections and a painful recurrence of the hernia. They are seeking advice on managing the pain and understanding if others have faced similar challenges. Here are some helpful insights and advice:

1. Seek urgent assessment:
- Consider going directly to Accident & Emergency (ER) instead of waiting for a scheduled appointment.
- Ask your GP or stoma nurse to contact the surgeon for an expedited appointment, as nurses often have success in moving dates forward.

2. Rule out dangerous complications:
- Ensure that a strangulated hernia, which is an emergency, has been excluded.

3. Understand recurrence risk:
- Parastomal hernias often return, sometimes even while still in the hospital, and the risk remains high even with mesh use.
- Many people report having one to three repairs, with rapid recurrence.

4. Phantom bowel sensations and mucus build-up:
- The urge to defecate might be phantom pain from residual nerves or mucus collecting in a retained rectal stump.
- Sitting on the toilet can help ease this sensation.
- If a rectal stump is present, mucus can solidify and mimic stool; consider professional guidance on clearing it.

5. Anal irrigation as pain relief (if stump/anus present):
- Gentle anal irrigation can help flush mucus and relieve pressure, but it should be learned with supervision from a stoma nurse or bowel & bladder clinic. Commercial anal-irrigation sets are available through these clinics.

6. Mesh considerations:
- Mesh is still widely used despite known issues; recurrence after mesh placement is common, and some patients experience mesh-related pain or infection.

7. Non-surgical management and support garments:
- Many people successfully use stoma hernia belts daily for support and pain reduction.
- If the hernia is not strangulated and is only cosmetic, some surgeons recommend living with it because more than 50% recur within 1–2 years after repair, and surgical mortality is quoted at 4–6%.

8. Personal experiences shared:
- One person had three parastomal hernia surgeries over six years (no-mesh, then mesh, then additional mesh) and is watching for a fourth recurrence.
- Another person is awaiting robotic laparoscopic mesh repair for six hernias and uses a hernia belt to manage intermittent pain.
- Some have declined surgery after researching high failure and complication rates.

These insights are based on shared experiences and general advice, and it's always best to consult with healthcare professionals for personalized guidance.