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Apr 25, 2020

Coping with a Colostomy Bag - Impact on Sex Life

This topic is about a person who is five weeks into recovery after surgery for bowel cancer, which resulted in a permanent colostomy. She is also undergoing chemotherapy and dealing with several challenges, including fatigue, neuropathy, sore skin around the stoma, and recent weight gain. Her main concern is about resuming a normal sex life, as she feels self-conscious about the colostomy pouch. Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. Colostomy irrigation:
- Consider asking your surgeon or ostomy nurse if you qualify for colostomy irrigation. Many cancer patients with a healthy remaining colon do.
- Once you get the hang of it, daily irrigation can keep you output-free for up to 24 hours, allowing you to use a stoma cap or plug, which can be more discreet during intimate moments.
- Nurses usually recommend waiting at least six weeks post-op, and some suggest waiting 4–5 months if you're still on chemotherapy due to infection risks.
- There is a learning curve, but YouTube videos on "ostomy irrigation" can be helpful.

2. Alternative stoma covers:
- Stoma caps or plugs, along with hernia or support belts (up to three per year on the NHS), can help conceal or stabilize the area during sex and other activities.

3. Sexual comfort tips:
- If a waistband is uncomfortable, try different positions like lying on your back, being on top, or side-lying to avoid pressure on the pouch.
- Over-the-counter gas-reducing medications might help reduce audible "stoma farts."
- Many partners are understanding, and confidence often grows with time.

4. Body-image boosters:
- Check out the UK company Vanilla Blush for ostomy-friendly lingerie, swimwear, and hernia belts that are designed to look and feel sexy.

5. Product access under the NHS:
- Besides standard pouches, you can request various accessories like different pouch models, belts, powders, and wipes. Manufacturers’ helplines often know what is eligible.

6. Coping with chemo side-effects:
- Magnesium supplements might help ease neuropathy for some people.
- Side effects from Oxaliplatin, such as cold sensations, nerve pain, and altered taste, usually fade months after treatment ends.

7. General reassurance:
- The early weeks with an ostomy are often the hardest, but most users find that pouch noises lessen and stoma care becomes "second nature" with practice.
- Take small steps, celebrate little victories, and lean on your ostomy nurse, online forums, and supportive family while adjusting.
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