This topic is about a woman who is navigating the dating world with a permanent stoma and pouch. She is three years post-surgery and is facing challenges with body image and confidence. Although she sometimes feels attractive, she worries about whether others will find her appealing and accept her stoma. After a recent night out where she withdrew from interested men, she is seeking advice on how to overcome her fears and be herself in social situations.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. Remember your self-worth. Your value goes beyond physical appearance, and anyone who can't see that isn't worth your time.

2. Many partners don't mind the stoma. Several people, including partners of ostomates, emphasize that personality, kindness, and compatibility are far more important than how you manage your toileting.

3. Be honest as relationships deepen. Sharing your truth will help you find the right people who will stay, while those who are superficial will leave.

4. Boost your confidence with fashion:
- Consider using ostomy pouch covers, tube tops, corsets, bustiers, lacy waistbands, and peek-a-boo panties. Some people shop and customize items from stores like Hot Topic.
- White Rose Selection offers swimsuits and nightwear designed for ostomates.
- You can find free sewing patterns for stretchy waistband covers at stomaatje.com, which can be matched with any outfit.

5. Keep multiple covers in different fabrics so you feel coordinated and ready for any occasion.

6. Get out there and live. Don't wait to be found; engage in social activities, hobbies, and events where people can meet the real you.

7. Exercise inner strength. Remind yourself daily that you are "perfect for someone out there" and dig deep when insecurities arise.

8. Seek peer support. Connecting with other ostomates, whether online or in person, can help reduce feelings of isolation.

9. Attend conferences and meet-ups:
- The United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) holds a national conference every two years. Members also suggest organizing annual international gatherings, with potential sponsorship from ostomy clothing companies to help with travel costs.

10. Use humor to heal. Embrace terms like "Barbie butt" and find humor in the situation, as light-heartedness can make confidence easier.

11. Finally, remember that you are "absolutely gorgeous," "quite fit," and "a hottie." Hold your head high, smile, and see your stoma as a life-saving badge, not a barrier.