Dating with a permanent ostomy can bring up a lot of questions and concerns, especially when it comes to timing, disclosure, and body image. If you're navigating the dating world with a permanent, irrigated colostomy and prefer to date while sober, here are some practical pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. **Resources & Education**
- Consider reading "5 Common Intimacy Concerns – And What to Do About Them" by Hollister.
- Check out ConvaTec’s materials on dating and intimacy.
- A recommended workbook is "Surviving an Ostomy: A Handbook for Women Celebrating Sexual Healing After an Ostomy," written by an ostomate with a PhD.

2. **Timing of Disclosure**
- Avoid waiting until the last minute before becoming intimate to disclose your ostomy.
- Some people choose to disclose when the relationship seems likely to become sexual, while others mention it on the first date. Both approaches can work well if you are confident.
- Honesty is crucial before intimacy, and choosing a partner with compassion and depth is important.

3. **Choosing & Relating to Partners**
- Seek out kind and caring individuals who see beyond the stoma. Be patient and selective in your choices.
- Dating multiple people can help build confidence and identify those with genuine character.
- Having an ostomy doesn’t automatically mean compatibility with another ostomate; shared interests and good communication are still key.

4. **Confidence & Body Image**
- Your attitude can influence your partner’s reaction. If you are comfortable, most partners won’t be bothered.
- Embrace your ostomy as a symbol of survival and practice self-acceptance. A suggested meditation mantra is: “May I become a friend to my body.”

5. **Communication & Openness**
- Open dialogue about any intimacy issues, whether ostomy-related or not, can prevent surprises and build trust.
- Using humor can help ease tension, and remember that everyone has vulnerabilities.

6. **Practical Tips for Intimacy**
- For odor control, Hollister M9 drops are recommended for use inside the pouch.
- Learn to manage and correct any causes of leaks to boost your confidence.
- If using a pouch, consider specialized intimacy products like wraps, smaller pouches, or stoma caps.

7. **Positive Outcomes Shared**
- There are many success stories, such as a 45-year ostomate in a 25-year relationship and a man with a urostomy who disclosed immediately and is now engaged.
- Many report that partners were unconcerned once informed.

8. **Final Encouragement**
- Life with an ostomy can still include activities like hiking, biking, dining out, sex, and marriage. Most challenges can be overcome with the right products, planning, and mindset.