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41,427 members
Jul 15, 2010

Should I Tell Colleagues About My Ostomy Upon Returning to Work?

This topic is about deciding whether or not to tell your work colleagues about your new ileostomy before you return to your job. You've been away for a while, recovering from surgery, and now you're considering how much to share with your coworkers. Only your line manager knows the full details, while others have been told you were out due to "gut trouble" and an operation. Here are some points to consider:

- Should you openly disclose your ostomy, share it with just a few trusted colleagues, or keep it entirely private? Each choice has its own set of challenges, like having to repeat explanations or dealing with various reactions from others.

- If you keep it private, you might worry about seeming stand-offish. On the other hand, if you share openly, you might fear coming across as too forward.

- Some people find humor helpful in normalizing ostomies and educating others.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights from others who have faced similar situations:

1. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people have:
- Told everyone right away.
- Confided only in close colleagues or friends.
- Kept it private, sharing only with management and family.
Choose what feels right for you and your comfort level.

2. Be prepared for some initial curiosity. People might have a lot of questions at first, but once answered, most will move on.

3. Being open can help reduce stigma and make the topic less of a big deal, similar to how other health issues are now commonly discussed. It can also strengthen your relationships with colleagues who care about your well-being.

4. Keeping it private is also a valid choice. It's personal medical information, and many people won't ask. You can continue your work life without discussing it if that's your preference.

5. Be aware of workplace gossip. In many offices, telling one person can lead to everyone knowing, so consider this when deciding.

6. Humor can be a great tool. Some people joke about their pouch or use humor to defuse awkward moments.

7. Prepare for practical mishaps, like a bag "popping" or a clamp slipping. Some tips include:
- Dropping a piece of toilet paper in the toilet before emptying to muffle sound.
- Using odor eliminators like Na'Scent to keep things odor-free.

8. A simple explanation can satisfy most questions: "Some people have their bowel inside, mine’s outside—that’s all."

9. Remember the big picture: your appliance saved your life and allows you to be active and enjoy activities like motorcycling, fishing, and camping. Choose the level of disclosure that lets you focus on living your life, not on the bag.
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