This topic is about dealing with feelings of loneliness after having ostomy surgery. The person who started the discussion shared a poem about how their life changed after the surgery, noting that laughter faded, friends disappeared, and they now feel isolated. They believe that people might be put off by the idea of a stoma, even though it doesn't smell, and think that fear or ignorance might be the reason for this. Feeling abandoned, they spend most of their time alone, on the phone, or online looking for companionship. Here are some insights and advice shared in the discussion:

- The author makes a distinction between "loneliness," which is painful, and "solitude," which can be peaceful. They use the term "fringe-edger" to describe someone who lives on the edge of relationships, either by choice or due to circumstances.

- Real friends will stick around. If someone leaves because of your stoma, it's better to be without them.

- Many people with ostomies experience others avoiding them after a quick glance. This is usually due to ignorance or discomfort, so try not to take it personally.

- Remember that life is more than the opinions of those who judge or abandon you. Keep moving forward and stay positive.

- Being open about your situation can help. Some people choose to show their pouch to demystify it. Keeping the bag flat, empty, and odor-free can boost social confidence. One person even decorates their pouch with rhinestones.

- Support belts can be helpful. Look for one that provides abdominal support without blocking output, especially after recent surgery or hernia repairs.

- Online communities and local groups can offer companionship. Many have found meaningful friendships and even dating partners through ostomy forums.

- Writing, whether poetry, journaling, or essays, can relieve stress and let others know you're there, even if practical help isn't possible.

- Pets, like dogs or horses, offer unconditional acceptance and can be a great source of companionship when people fall short.

- If family or friends react negatively, set boundaries. Use the three-question test to decide if dialogue is worthwhile, and let a supportive partner help if conversations become abusive.

- Simply being there for someone and listening without judgment is powerful. This same support is available to you within the ostomy community.