This topic is about navigating the world of dating when you have an ostomy, specifically when and how to tell a potential partner about it. A man with an ileostomy shared an experience where a woman on a dating site mentioned that most women aren't looking for someone with "too much baggage" after he revealed his ostomy. This sparked a discussion on how to approach dating with an ostomy in a society that often emphasizes appearances.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by the community:

1. Rejection is more about the other person than about you. Stay positive, as many people will accept you just as you are.

2. The term "baggage" usually refers to unresolved emotional issues, not an ostomy bag. A light-hearted response can help clear up any misunderstandings.

3. Avoid starting conversations with your ostomy. Let potential partners get to know you first. Share about your ostomy when intimacy seems likely, often around the third or fourth date. It's best to disclose this in person to see their real-time reaction.

4. Remember, you are more than your health history. Develop your interests and confidence, as these qualities attract supportive partners.

5. Be prepared for a range of reactions, from acceptance to rejection. Not everyone will react negatively, so don't assume they will.

6. Many have found long-lasting relationships and supportive partners after surgery, while others have faced hurtful encounters. Acceptance often depends on individual attitudes rather than circumstances.

7. If someone reacts negatively, such as calling the pouch "disgusting" or making false assumptions, it's best to walk away. Their ignorance is not your responsibility.

8. Your ostomy saved your life, and anyone who can't accept it doesn't deserve to be in your life.

9. For confidence in concealing your pouch, keep it flat against your abdomen. Feeling secure about its appearance can help you project confidence, which many find attractive.

10. Ultimately, people will either accept an ostomy or they won't. Focus on finding those who will accept it.