Living with a stoma can bring about feelings of embarrassment, especially when it comes to intimacy. It's a topic that many people with a stoma might find challenging to navigate. Here are some insights and advice shared by others who have been in similar situations:

1. Talk it through
- Sharing your feelings with someone you trust or a counselor can be a great first step in overcoming embarrassment.
- If your self-confidence is low or the stoma is constantly on your mind, professional counseling might be helpful.

2. Honesty with potential partners
- It's important to let potential partners know what to expect. Most people will either accept it or politely decline, which can save you stress later on.
- One person shared that being completely upfront about their situation led to a positive experience with intimacy.

3. Build self-confidence first
- Confidence is attractive and can make dating easier. Embracing your new body image is key.
- Take your time and don't rush into intimacy. It's okay to go at your own pace.

4. Practical intimacy tips and products
- Consider changing to a fresh, closed-end pouch before being intimate.
- Wearing a snug support or hernia belt can help flatten the bag and hide the pouch.
- Some manufacturers offer small, single-use "intimacy pouches" that are discreet and meant for short wear.
- Simple clothing tricks, like tucking in a tank top, can help you feel less self-conscious.

5. Accept normal stoma issues
- Concerns about size, noises, and leaks are common, but remember that the stoma is small compared to your whole body and can be covered.
- Partners who care will accept you as you are, bag and all.

6. Safety and common-sense dating
- Ensure you are ready, both mentally and physically, before dating.
- Be cautious and never share money or sensitive personal information with new acquaintances, especially online.

7. Community & niche dating ideas
- Some people wish for a "Stoma Singles Club" to meet others who understand their situation.
- Many have successfully dated or maintained long marriages with partners who do not have ostomies.

8. Perspective
- Some choose to remain single and find happiness in independence, while others regain their confidence over time.
- Viewing the stoma as a medical aid, like wearing glasses, can help reframe it positively.
- Success stories show that intimacy is possible, with the mindset of "accept it or walk away" and "what you see is what you get.