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Dec 31, 2023

Struggling with Self-Image and Dating After Surgery

This topic is about someone who recently underwent emergency surgery, resulting in the creation of a reversible ileostomy. This has led to feelings of self-consciousness and hesitance in pursuing romantic relationships. The person is seeking reassurance and advice on how to cope with these changes and whether these feelings will eventually pass.

Here are some helpful insights and advice:

1. It's completely normal to feel this way after surgery. Give yourself time to heal both physically and mentally.

2. Remember, you are still the same person. Confidence often returns when you realize this. Many partners are not concerned about an ostomy; sometimes, we are the ones who create barriers.

3. Explore other discussions about dating with a stoma for reassurance and tips. There are detailed threads available that might be helpful.

4. Don't let the pouch define you. Focus on living your life fully and embracing your strength.

5. A practical tip: consider using a thin neoprene Velcro ostomy belt or wrap to keep the pouch discreet during intimate moments. Some people even decorate it to add a bit of fun.

6. Try a daily confidence exercise: listen to Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are," look in the mirror, sing along, and believe in the lyrics.

7. Practice self-love and be gentle with yourself. Work on acceptance gradually, and don't rush into dating until you feel ready.

8. Notice small signs of growing confidence, like smiling more, updating photos, or expressing yourself in new ways. These are all positive steps forward.
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