Reply to warrior
Warrior,
You mention the KENButt - and bike seats.
Another 'experience' is found when riding a horse - in the saddle.
Obviously I am female - addressing this very point/s of this thread.
Some are specifics and others are universal :-))
I have also straddled a motor bike seat both as a rider and a pillion passenger - with folk whom I have trusted either infront of me or behind me - differnt experiences - one is control , the other is trust - and both are a combination of both.
Obviously riding a bike is different from riding a horse. It is also a very differen`t experience whether one is a female or a male too.
When comparing riding horses - being female - legs in stirrups and the exhilleration of the 'movement' within the saddle in the circumstance of trotting cantering and galloping - not to mention the lift off upon jumping a fence ... a whole range of 'feelings are involvedsome of which relate to sexual process as well as horsemanship. -
The tightness of the sutured bottom - makes for a different experience - for both male and females - when actually straddling a seat - even a narrow push bike seat - but I digress.
The point being , However - is one of returning to the issue of how it FEELs after healing has occurred.
This - in MHOppinion / experience with discussion - depends HOW one's nerves were affected during surgery - and the nature of the cause of that surgery - and how over time prior to the surgery the body was physically - but ALSO how the person WAS and has BECOME MENTALLY as a resut of cronic illness / emergency unlanned surgery / long haul management of both self motivation, and career /lfeskills options and also DESIRE.
With DESIRE - also is the element of aloowing fruition of desire - many elements are involved - trust letting go and self care and knowledge!
Irrespective of how well or otherwise we heal physically / mentally - there is definately the nerve feedback which has to be addressewd - and IMHexperience - this can CAN be overcome / compensated for too.
,
The situatin as regards how our sensations of feeling are borne - depends upon our mental way of addressing - as well as [in some instances] any limiting nerve damage.
We could put forward - by way of example - the manifestation of someone who can still FEEL their amputated limb. Equally many will still FEEL that they can go through all the mental experience of a 'normal' rectum evacuation - All this stuff takes time to process.
However, what I would also say, is that INTENTION IS A VERY GREAT PART OF THAT WHICH WE EITHER ALLOW or POSTIVELY SELF PROMOTE ourselves to do / feel / accept etc ..... and we are definiately self limiting if we insist of erecting mental barriers in order not to 'go through again' that which we have / currently do may perceive as 'difficult'.
If we think we can't - chances are we may not be able or at best be somewhat limiting our own joyfullness in actions / reactions.
Its a cop out - because if we allow an imagined or even a real 'fear' to limit us - then by deffinition we are also convincing ourselves not to risk trying - as a consequence defeat is the result. THe contra to that is RISKING THAT ONE MIGHTY BE ABLE - and then the rewards can be / very often ARE HUGE!
If we HOPE we can - and over a process of adjustment progess to feeling we might actually be able - or at leastt - willing to progress -
Then, bit by bit we inevitably DO.
.....
Sometimes surprising ourselves by suddenly finding we ARE ACTUALLY DOING that which we had reservations toward or thought we could not.
ANd so, It seems to me that we have to over come the 'trauma' element - that even the most Postively Motivated Folk have - becaause if we do not allow ourselves time to process - then we partially address our feelings and uncousiously there remain elements that can 'appear' when we least expect it.
In other words, the blind 'go for it' [deep breath shut your eys stuff] does not always work - But, those who adopt this 'device' find it a useful 'nudge' to action at times - and at times they need to revisit a limiting factor that they had either chosen to overlook or become aware of something that genuinely of which they previously ha not registered - so even the only remining 'fly in the ointment' can be cleared up.
My own advice to myself - and sadly I am not always 100% good at following it - IS LOVE YOURSELF - LEARN TO BE GENTLE WITH ONESELF - and the rest will follow.
Experiement by degrees if unsure - of anything.
One need not have an audience when one goes about exploring how one feels.
Likewise sometimes, it can be the best thing after an accident or a Happening - to try and overcome that gut withdrawal - and immediately get right on back onto the bike seat - your horses sadlle etc as soon as possible - but acknoledge any difficuties one feel whilst doing so - [not recommended following surgery however - take astock - ask your medics too].
One can ACTUALLY be naturally at ease and truly accepting whilst still keeping an open mind and gently pushing, or self encouraging as one becomes more at ease .
Intimacy is something that it seems to me is so often affected by past expeiences - and often the individual concerned remains only partially aware of these - and as such remains vulnerable and is held back as a consquence.
So Best Wishes for a gentle and honest exploration -
Little by little .
One other final thing - perhaps a lot of us should try and be mindful of - our own Egoes - sometimes they do not serve us - particularly if they become over developed or underplayed - The 'secret' - if ther is one - to Progress - is BALANCE.
One canot walk a tight rope wthout balance.
We do not feel warm and appreciate this - if we have never experienced coldness.
Best Wishes
Jayne
BTW Harleys are special - equally so are aerial 650s and many more marques!
Enjoy - don't leave in storage indefinately - evrything needs a 'run'.
Virtual Hug -
In your own time you will find life goes on -
Just pop out of the shadows and allow sun to reach your enjoyment.
Hope Everyone's 2024 is a progressie Year
waves from the Welsh Hills, in the UK