This topic is about someone who is preparing to have a permanent ostomy after experiencing previous reversals and is now facing this change without the support of a long-time spouse. The person is seeking support and advice from a community that has been helpful in the past. Here are some insights and advice shared by others who have been through similar experiences:

1. Many people who have switched to a permanent ostomy after dealing with issues like inflammation, leakage, or unsuccessful surgeries have found that their quality of life improves significantly.

2. There will be an adjustment period, but most individuals find that they become comfortable with the daily care of their ostomy within the first year.

3. Having previous experience with an ostomy can be beneficial. Familiarity with the equipment, routine, and troubleshooting can make the transition smoother.

4. It can be helpful to focus on the positive aspects, such as being free from chronic leakage, infections, and the need for constant antibiotics, rather than dwelling on the permanence of the ostomy.

5. Emotional support is crucial. The ostomy community is known for being a close-knit and understanding group, offering practical advice and empathy whenever needed.

6. For discretion in public, if the stoma becomes noisy, a gentle pat on the pouch and a quiet "shush" can help minimize self-consciousness.