Topic Explanation

The forum discussion revolves around the challenges of dating after a divorce, particularly when one has a stoma. The original poster shares that their marriage ended because their spouse could not cope with their stoma, leading to feelings of rejection and insecurity about future relationships.

Advice and Insights

1. Understanding the Breakup:
- The breakup may not be solely due to the stoma but could be related to the spouse's insecurities or need for attention.
- It's important to recognize that the stoma does not define one's identity or worth.

2. Moving Forward:
- Embrace the idea that when one door closes, another opens, and focus on finding someone who understands and accepts the situation.
- Maintain self-esteem and a positive attitude as essential components of moving forward.
- Allow time to heal and accept the stoma as part of life.

3. Support and Community:
- Engage with supportive communities, such as forums, where others have experienced similar situations and can offer advice and encouragement.
- Recognize that there is a lot of support available, and you are not alone in this journey.

4. Relationship Dynamics:
- Consider that managing a stoma can be overwhelming and may affect relationship dynamics if not properly understood or communicated.
- It's crucial to balance stoma management with relationship management to avoid placing undue stress on the partnership.

5. Personal Growth:
- Use the time post-divorce to rediscover oneself and take stock of life.
- Focus on personal growth and self-help as reliable routes to success.

6. Perspective on the Situation:
- Some view the end of the relationship as a favor, suggesting that being with someone who cannot handle the situation may not be ideal.
- There is a belief that better opportunities and relationships await in the future.

7. Practical Advice:
- Learn to manage the stoma independently to reduce stress on relationships.
- Understand that a stoma should not be a barrier to new relationships, whether short-term or long-term.