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Sep 07, 2024

Wife struggling to cope with ileostomy diagnosis

Topic Explanation
The discussion revolves around a man seeking advice on how to support his wife who is struggling to cope with a recent ileostomy diagnosis following high-grade dysplasia in her ulcerative colitis (UC) condition. The wife has become withdrawn and unresponsive to his attempts at communication, which includes supportive messages and calls. The husband is concerned about finding the right balance between giving her space and providing adequate support during this challenging time.

Advice and Insights from Replies
1. Support and Space:
- It's important to maintain a balance between being supportive and giving space. Several responses suggest that while it's crucial to be supportive, giving some space is also necessary to allow the wife to process her feelings.
- One suggestion is to reach out to her doctor to inform them of her emotional state, as she might benefit from professional counseling.

2. Communication and Understanding:
- Encourage open and calm communication. Try to understand her feelings and fears without overwhelming her. This might help her feel safe to express her emotions and concerns.
- Reinforce your commitment and reassure her that you find her attractive and are there for the long haul regardless of the changes.

3. Positive Outlook and Personal Experiences:
- Share positive outcomes and personal stories from others who have had ileostomies and how they have managed to live fulfilling lives post-surgery. This includes engaging in sports, traveling, and starting new careers.
- Highlight the potential relief from the painful symptoms of UC post-surgery, which could improve her quality of life.

4. Practical Support and Resources:
- Consider joining support groups or connecting with individuals who have gone through similar experiences. This can provide both practical advice and emotional support.
- Look into resources like Ostomy Secrets for undergarments that can help her feel more comfortable and confident.

5. Handling Depression and Emotional Withdrawal:
- Acknowledge the possibility of depression, which might require professional intervention such as therapy or medication.
- Continue to send supportive messages, focusing more on her feelings rather than your own, to help her feel understood and loved.

6. Lifestyle Adjustments and Encouragement:
- Encourage her to engage in activities she enjoys and to gradually adapt to the lifestyle changes post-surgery. This can include trying new things and going on vacations.
- Constantly remind her of her inner beauty and the qualities you love about
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