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41,452 members
May 01, 2025

So that call happened...

This topic is about a 38-year-old man who has been living with ulcerative colitis and has a permanent ileostomy. He is now facing a surgery in four weeks to remove his rectal stump and close the anal area, often referred to as the "Ken-butt" procedure. This upcoming surgery brings a mix of relief and fear, as it promises an end to his battle with ulcerative colitis but also involves the anxiety of another major operation. He is seeking advice on how to cope with the waiting period and his concerns about potential sexual dysfunction after the surgery.

Here are some insights and advice shared by others:

1. Anxiety and Emotions
- It's normal to feel scared before surgery, even for those who have had multiple operations.
- Talking, venting, journaling, or working with a supportive therapist or friend can help manage these feelings.
- While worrying doesn't change the outcome, acknowledging the fear is important.

2. Distraction and Coping Strategies During the Wait
- Keep busy with activities like listening to favorite music, engaging in home projects, gentle exercise, or online yoga.
- Stay connected with supportive friends and family through phone calls.
- Practice daily gratitude or mindfulness to help reduce rumination.

3. Preparing for Surgery and Sexual-Function Concerns
- Communicate with your surgeon about preserving erection and ejaculation abilities, and inquire about nerve-sparing techniques.
- Discuss the potential need for postoperative aids like sildenafil (Viagra) or vacuum pumps, and understand the risks of erectile dysfunction.
- Consider sperm banking if family planning is a possibility.
- Ask about pelvic-floor rehabilitation options for post-surgery pain or urinary issues.

4. Medical Timing and Necessity
- Ensure that the timing of the surgery is medically necessary and beneficial, as the originator has confirmed.

5. IV/Vein Issues
- If frequent surgeries have damaged arm veins, consider requesting a port or ultrasound-guided IV placement to minimize discomfort.

6. Community Etiquette
- Respect different coping styles; while some appreciate straightforward encouragement, empathy and constructive advice are often more helpful.
See full discusison
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