This topic is about someone who is having a tough time adjusting both emotionally and physically to a new stoma after undergoing cancer surgery. They feel like their stoma isn't functioning as expected and are experiencing a lot of mental distress. They're reaching out to see if what they're going through is normal and to learn how others handle the practical and emotional challenges.

Here are some helpful pieces of advice and insights:

1. Share specific details to get better help: Mention the type of stoma you have (colostomy, ileostomy, or urostomy), describe its shape (ideally it should protrude at least 2 cm), the pouching system you're using, when and where leaks happen, and if there are any folds, scars, or creases affecting the wafer.

2. Understand that adapting takes time, both physically and mentally. It's common to go through feelings of anger, sadness, and asking "why me?" Seeking professional counseling can be beneficial.

3. If you haven't already, connect with an experienced stoma (WOC) nurse. They can assist with fit, troubleshooting, and choosing the right products.

4. Try out product samples to find what suits your body best. Major manufacturers like Hollister, Coloplast, and ConvaTec offer free samples. You can call them or request samples online, and their ostomy nurses can provide advice.

5. For skin care, keep the skin around your stoma clean and completely dry. Avoid soaps with dyes, lotions, or fragrances. Cetaphil soap is recommended.

6. If your stoma is flush or retracted, consider using convex wafers. These can help push the surrounding skin down and prevent output from undermining the seal.

7. Think about using an ostomy support belt to stabilize the wafer and reduce the risk of hernias. Brands like Nu-Hope offer belts that hold the pouch through an opening and apply constant pressure on the flange. These can be found on Amazon or specialty sites.

8. Remember that your stoma likely saved your life. It's important to accept setbacks, practice self-compassion, and gradually venture out to regain confidence, starting mentally and then physically.