This topic is about those awkward moments when a stoma makes unexpected noises, which can be particularly embarrassing in quiet settings. The originator of the discussion is concerned about such noises, especially in situations like a family funeral where silence is expected. Here are some helpful tips and insights shared by others who have experienced similar situations:

1. Muffle the sound:
- Rest your arm casually across your abdomen and press the flat of your hand over the stoma. Light hand pressure can significantly reduce the volume of the noise.

2. Create a cover noise:
- Cough, clear your throat, start talking, or use some harmless "gobbledygook" when you feel the stoma might make a noise.
- Turn on or ask for background noise, like a hair-dryer at the salon or music, to mask any short bursts of sound.

3. Use humor or quick excuses:
- Say something like, "Sorry, just breaking the ice," or "That’s what I thought of that idea," or blame the nearest mobile phone on "loud vibrate."
- Pretend your phone is ringing with a strange ringtone, a tactic that has worked for others in crowded places.
- If you're comfortable, joke that a "ghost just farted" or playfully accuse someone else with a comment like, "Eww, control yourself!"

4. Enlist allies or accept help:
- Friends or even strangers might take the blame for you, as one person did for a teen with an ostomy at a party.
- Family members who know about your ostomy can join in the joke to help ease the situation.

5. Manage anxiety:
- Some people notice their stoma gets louder when they're tense, so focusing on relaxation before entering very quiet settings can be beneficial.

6. Perspective:
- Regular exposure to situations like lectures or exams helped one person become less embarrassed by public stoma noises over time.

These strategies focus on positioning, creating background sound, using quick wit, and maintaining a sense of humor to handle those unexpected moments gracefully.