This topic revolves around the challenges and considerations faced by someone dealing with a large parastomal hernia at their ileostomy site. The person is navigating conflicting medical advice and delays in surgery, which involves hernia repair with mesh and possibly relocating the stoma. Here are some insights and advice shared by others who have been through similar experiences:

- The person has been told that an ileostomy must remain on the right side, but they are unsure about this information. They are also frustrated that no stoma nurse has marked a new site for them.

- The surgery dates have been postponed multiple times, and the plan now is to have a gynecological laparoscopy first, followed by the hernia and stoma operation about a year later.

- This will be their 21st surgery, and they are concerned about whether the mesh will hold if they cough or sneeze.

- They prefer a permanent stoma due to a family history of colon cancer and fear of chronic bowel urgency.

Additional questions and information include:

1. Can an ileostomy be moved to the left side, or must it remain on the right?
2. Which is easier to live with, an ileostomy or a colostomy, if either could be created?
3. Will the mesh be strong enough in a large, obese abdomen?

Advice and insights from others include:

- Stoma positioning:
- Left-sided ileostomies do exist, and several people have them.
- If no stoma nurse is available, you can mark the chosen spot yourself with a permanent marker.
- Sometimes, moving the stoma to the left is preferred to avoid compromised tissue on the right side.

- Choosing between ileostomy and colostomy:
- Many surgeons prefer a colostomy for its thicker output, better nutrient absorption, less gas, and the option to irrigate.
- Individual experiences vary; some people still experience constant output with a colostomy due to prior conditions.
- Gas ballooning is usually worse with an ileostomy.

- Hernia repair techniques and expectations:
- Large parastomal hernias can be repaired successfully with mesh, either laparoscopically or through open surgery, sometimes without moving the stoma.
- Mesh repairs can fail, and new hernias may develop; consider seeking a second opinion and discussing long-term durability.
- Some surgeons use absorbable gauze/mesh, but the risk of infection must be considered.
- Obesity is a common reason for postponing or denying repair; weight reduction may help secure approval.

- Recognizing a developing hernia:
- Early signs include aching or sharp pain around the stoma, local swelling or bulge that enlarges on coughing or standing, and palpable bowel ridges under the skin.

- Coping and practical tips:
- Wearing a firm hernia support belt can relieve discomfort and protect the repair site.
- It's normal to feel an emotional roller-coaster; allow yourself to feel anger and frustration but keep pushing for clear surgical plans.
- Building a local support network can be helpful, and several people in the Wiltshire/Swindon/Salisbury area have expressed interest in meeting.