Coping with Hand Surgery: Seeking Advice for Daily Tasks

Ian is going to have surgery on my dominant hand and will be unable to perform tasks related to emptying or changing my bag.

Wondering if anyone has been in a similar predicament and how they coped? I plan to have some home health care but feel I need someone with me all day as I empty my bag 4 to 5 times daily and change the whole appliance every 4 to 5 days. My husband has volunteered; I'd rather have a neutral person attending to these needs. The surgery will have me in a cast for six weeks, and then there is intensive hand therapy for several months.
Thanks for any ideas or help with this predicament.

Gaia

Why wouldn't you want your husband to help you? It seems like the most logical answer. I hope he is with you all the time. I hope you teach him what to do.

IGGIE

Use closed bags and throw them away. Get help only when you have to change everything every 4-5 days.

I agree with Alex. Get closed-end bags. I'd suggest investigating the so-called 1-piece appliances with closed-end disposable bags. I think these might be easier to change one-handed. The snap-in bags might be tricky. But get some samples of everything and start testing now to see what is easiest.

And train your husband to help. He needs to know the whole process. I had mine come and learn with me when I was in the hospital. He helped me the first few times when I got home, but then I took over completely. I prefer to do it without help, but I know he's there if something were to happen. It's a bit like insurance. You buy it, but you hope you never use it.

The only options for a neutral helper would be hiring a home health nurse (really expensive) or going to a nursing home temporarily (also expensive). I doubt insurance would see either as medically necessary, so you'll be paying the whole bill.

I agree with Iggie; why not let your husband help? If he is volunteering for the job, you should let him. Teach him how you like things done, and then he will get the hang of it. Who else could you get to be around all the time?

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To be honest, it's not that hard to change and drain a bag one-handed. It's planned surgery, so you're very lucky in that you have time to practice in advance to perfect it before surgery. I'm right-handed and had surgery on it twice. The first time, I couldn't use it for three months, and due to having a stroke 20 years ago, I have very little feeling in my left hand and managed emptying and changing bags very well. Put your foot or something heavy on the new bag, pull the backing plate off, hold the top and bottom of the wafer with your fingers and thumb, bend it slightly, and roll it from bottom to top over the stoma. I found Velcro closure bags the easiest to use myself to open and close. The only problem I had was that I couldn't clean the opening of the bag very well after emptying them.

Thank you, Iggie. He will probably help a bit, but I would feel better with a neutral trained party. My husband is ill with COPD and heavy grief for a son lost recently and a daughter who is struggling with deadly brain cancer.
Life seems challenging enough for him. However, I will take your words as helpful and think more about this. 🙏Namaste

Consider that being able to do something concrete to help may take your husband's mind off his emotional struggles. He is dealing with a lot, as you say, but I have found helping others to be healing. He may feel similarly.  

I'd think you could train yourself to empty one-handed with help only needed if there is a problem. Then you could consider hiring someone privately to help with appliance changes. That would be more manageable financially.