This topic is about a young person from London who has been living with Crohn’s disease for 12 years. After many surgeries, they now have a permanent stoma. They share their journey of dealing with the physical and emotional challenges of this condition and how they are finding their way back into work, study, and relationships.

- Initially, the idea of having a stoma felt like a defeat, and they tried every medical option to avoid it. Even a temporary stoma didn’t work out.
- After surgery, they faced complications like having a stoma, open fistulas, and a wound that wouldn’t heal, which required constant care and caused a lot of pain and sleepless nights. This was described as the toughest time in their life.
- They struggled with the psychological impact, fearing that a stoma would label them as "the sick guy." This led to avoiding dating and finding online advice unhelpful.
- Once their wounds healed, they faced the question of identity without the disease. They started filling their time with travel, going to the gym, writing, taking online courses, and researching jobs. They managed dehydration with jelly babies, marshmallows, and Dioralyte.
- The first time they told someone about their stoma was in a pub, and the response was positive and accepting. They found that in romantic and casual relationships, partners were not bothered by the stoma, even during a teaching stint in Italy.
- A key realization was that past rejections were more about their self-image as "a guy with a disease" rather than the stoma itself. They concluded that people who endure chronic illness are resilient and should not let a stoma define them. Sharing their story is something to be proud of.

Advice and insights from this experience include:

- Sharing your story can help others see that what might feel like "lost years" can actually lay the foundation for a brighter future.
- Writing about your experiences is both brave and therapeutic. Many people gain confidence from hearing how others have overcome fears about relationships after surgery.
- This community is a place to express yourself, learn, and feel understood. Even if responses are brief or silent, your words still have an impact.
- Long-time ostomates can relate to the lack of information in the past, multiple surgeries, and uncertainty over diagnoses. Community support is crucial in navigating this journey.
- Using humor, honesty, and self-acceptance are powerful ways to cope with chronic illness and redefine what "normal" means for you.