Coping with body-image and intimacy challenges after an ostomy can be a sensitive and emotional journey. One person shared their experience of feeling unattractive and emotionally fragile after attempting to be fully nude with their partner for the first time since surgery and significant weight loss. They felt self-conscious about their changed body and decided to pause further attempts at intimacy. Here are some pieces of advice and insights that might help:

1. Body-confidence and mindset
- Focus on self-acceptance. Feeling confident in yourself can positively influence how your partner perceives you.
- Remember that your pouch is a symbol of survival. Explore ways to feel desirable, such as using mirrors, visiting nude beaches, engaging in fantasy role-play, or using humor.
- Consider waiting to resume intercourse until you feel more confident. In the meantime, treat yourself to some new lingerie to wear when you're ready.

2. Communication and partner choice
- A supportive partner should make you feel beautiful. If they don't, it might be worth reconsidering the relationship.
- Have open conversations about your fears and boundaries. Some people choose not to mention the ostomy bag until intimacy is already underway, as many partners are unfazed by it.
- The ostomy can act as a "jerk filter," helping you identify supportive partners.

3. Concealing or securing the pouch during intimacy
- Explore products like wraps, high-waisted boy-shorts, and stylish lingerie designed for ostomates.
- Consider using an adjustable belt to keep the pouch flat against your abdomen.
- Try DIY solutions like colorful tube tops or corsets to cover the bag while highlighting other areas.

4. Practical clothing and leakage tips
- High-waist jeans or snug wraps can be comfortable if they don't compress the stoma. Some people use systems with raised rims for extra protection.
- Always have a change kit handy for unexpected leaks.

5. Alternative ways to stay intimate while healing
- Focus on non-penetrative activities like oral sex, manual stimulation, or shared masturbation until you're ready for more.
- Some couples find closeness in caring for each other's pouches or wounds.

6. Inspiration from long-time ostomates
- Many people with ostomies report fulfilling sex lives once they embrace their bodies and find understanding partners.
- Age or appearance doesn't prevent new relationships; acceptance, humor, and open-mindedness do.

These insights and suggestions aim to help you navigate the emotional and physical aspects of intimacy after an ostomy, encouraging self-love and open communication with your partner.