The topic at hand is about navigating sexual intimacy and body-image concerns after having an ileostomy. This can be a challenging experience, as it involves adjusting to changes in one's body and how it affects relationships. Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by others who have been through similar experiences:

1. Accepting the new body is key
- It's important for the person with the stoma to come to terms with their new body. Anxiety about the stoma can affect the partner and hinder intimacy.
- Remember that a loving partner already accepts you, so try to focus on their support rather than any perceived flaws.

2. Communicate openly with your partner
- Have an honest conversation about any fears, desires, and whether the stoma or other factors like routine, fatigue, or health are affecting your intimacy.
- Be ready to hear uncomfortable truths, but view the conversation as a step towards finding solutions.

3. Rekindle romance and confidence
- Consider date nights, spontaneous affection, or activities that remind you of the early days of your relationship.
- Small gestures like emptying the pouch beforehand, using an ostomy wrap, or giving compliments can help shift focus away from the stoma and towards pleasure.

4. Use professional and peer resources
- Couples or individual counseling can be beneficial for addressing body-image issues. A professional counselor can offer help and emphasize mutual respect and inclusion of both partners' needs.
- Resources like the Canadian Cancer Society booklet "Sexuality and Cancer" and the book "It’s in the Bag and Under the Covers" by Brenda Elsagher can provide additional support and stories from others with ostomies.

5. Practical tips for the bedroom
- Use an ostomy support wrap or specialized lingerie to keep the pouch flat and discreet.
- Empty the bag before intimacy to reduce worries about leaks or noises.
- Experiment with positions that keep the pouch out of the way and emphasize comfort and eye contact.

6. Pornography & masturbation
- Be cautious about using pornography as a substitute for intimacy, as it can increase distance and make a partner feel unwanted. Balance solo activities with efforts to meet each other's needs.

7. Women-specific considerations
- Female ostomates who have undergone radiation or chemotherapy may experience painful intercourse. Medical treatments and a patient, imaginative partner can help maintain a satisfying sex life.

8. Universal takeaway
- Many people, with or without an ostomy, struggle with body image, aging, fatigue, and routine. An empathetic partner, creative adjustments, and proactive communication can often restore intimacy more effectively than avoidance.