Coping with a permanent ileostomy can be a challenging journey, both emotionally and practically. This is especially true for someone who has been through a lot, like dealing with ulcerative colitis and now undergoing chemotherapy for stage 3 rectal cancer. Adjusting to life with an ileostomy bag can feel overwhelming, and it's natural to have concerns about self-image and relationships. Here are some insights and advice from others who have been through similar experiences:

1. Give it time and establish a routine. Initially, it can be tough, but many people find that after a few months, they rarely think about the pouch and continue to enjoy activities like sports, travel, work, and intimacy.

2. Focus on self-image first. Therapy or antidepressants can be beneficial in rebuilding confidence. Accepting the ostomy yourself can help others accept it too.

3. When it comes to dating and disclosure, share the information when a relationship starts to get serious. Those who can't accept it may not be the right match. Many people with ostomies have successful marriages or relationships.

4. If you're dealing with leakage, consider switching from a two-piece to a one-piece system after consulting with an ostomy nurse. Experiment with different products to find the right fit, as stopping leaks can significantly reduce daily anxiety.

5. Support garments can help with discretion and comfort. Options like Stealth Belt support belts, Ostomysecrets swim wraps, and compression shirts can keep the appliance secure and comfortable during activities and intimacy. Hernia belts might be necessary for some, especially if you develop parastomal hernias.

6. Stay active and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Activities like going to the gym, biking, swimming, and traveling are all possible. It's important to stay hydrated and monitor electrolytes, using drinks like Gatorade and regular bloodwork to check levels of potassium, magnesium, iron, and sodium. If you're prone to hernias, limit lifting heavy weights and wear a support belt.

7. Seek medical and professional help when needed. A certified ostomy nurse can assist with fitting issues, and joining local or online support groups can provide practical tips and emotional support.

8. Many people view their ileostomy as life-saving, preferring it over the pain and isolation of uncontrolled disease. Adopting a mindset of gratitude and taking things one day at a time can be helpful.

9. For those undergoing chemotherapy, resilience is key. Many have found that coping with treatment shows they can also manage life with the bag.