I Miss Tucking in My Shirt: Seeking Clothing Advice for Ostomates

Replies
30
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1048
Bob430
Mar 09, 2024 9:55 pm

Greetings Ostomates!

So… I'm new(ish) here, joined a while back but have never posted. Got my ileostomy May of last year after decades of Crohn's & two bouts of colon cancer. Happy to report I'm doing well and still here! I think I've adjusted pretty well to the new routine. It took a few months of testing products to land on a good appliance that lasts a solid 7+ days before swapping out, but maybe that's TMI?

So I have a question about clothing. I'm okay living the “untucked” life, plenty of options. I wear a slim-fitting tank to keep the bag flat and I made my own covers to go over the bottom half of the pouch in case my shirt “twirls up.” I just really miss wearing my shirt tucked in. Early on, I got one of those belts with a rigid guard, but it's very bulky and only makes it look like I'm packing heat. Okay in TX but not NY. I'd appreciate any advice on this if it's possible.

Of course, I understand the answer may well be “Nope! Sorry, your shirt-tucking days are over.” So there it is!

Morning glory
Mar 09, 2024 10:12 pm

Welcome to the site, Bob. Hopefully, the men will chime in here. Not too likely to give TMI here 😂

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infinitycastle52777
Mar 09, 2024 10:55 pm

I was all bent out of shape when I realized I can't tuck in my shirt without interfering with my bag and the output going down into the bottom of the bag. I don't really have any good answers for you. I have a tendency to wear 2 shirts, one long-sleeved under a t-shirt, and I just had to adjust to having both shirts not tucked in. You do get used to it after a while. It just takes some time and adjustment. After a while, you won't really notice it anymore.

Lee

w30bob
Mar 09, 2024 11:06 pm

Hi Bob,

Well... I think you figured it out... there really is no good answer if your stoma was placed around your belt line. I know I've seen lower profile stoma guards, but unless you wear your shirt tucked in very loosely, it'll be obvious you've got something under your shirt. Personally, I've never liked tucking in my shirts, so no major change for me. But it would be nice when I wear a suit to go to a wedding or funeral if I could tuck my shirt in. Is your stoma right at your belt line or a bit above it? If it's a bit above, you might get away with a horizontal StealthBelt kind of thing. Just remember to not let your bag get very filled. To be honest, the last time I even looked at products for such a situation was a few years ago... maybe someone has come out with something new. Hopefully, others will chime in with some good news for you!

;O)

Beachboy
Mar 10, 2024 12:40 am

Very hard to tuck in a shirt.

My stoma sits nearly even with my belly button. I'm pretty skinny. There's no way I can tuck in a shirt that is comfortable and not noticeable. I recently attended a wedding. Tucked in the dress shirt and wore a loose vest over the shirt. It looked OK. But I still looked a bit frumpy.

My stoma sticks out from 1 to 2 inches (depending on its mood), and I have a mild peristomal hernia. Wearing a loose untucked shirt, everyone can tell: "What the hell's wrong with that dude?"

Gotta be tough... to be an Ostomymate.

 
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AlexT
Mar 10, 2024 4:52 am

Why can't you tuck your shirt in?

TerryLT
Mar 10, 2024 5:10 am

Sorry, no advice on shirt tucking, just a comment to let you know, on this site, there is no such thing as 'TMI'!

Terry

xnine
Mar 10, 2024 7:36 am

I wear a tummy sleeve (from a maternity shop) and use suspenders. Works for me with the shirt tucked in.

Beachboy
Mar 10, 2024 8:08 am

I could wear a Nu-Hope belt with a prolapse flap. Flattens out the stoma, but my shirt still has a noticeable bump on it. I've done this a few times. Somewhat uncomfortable, hard to bend over or sit.

The belt itself is great.

Bill
Mar 10, 2024 8:09 am

Hello Bob430.

I've  tried a few things like cutting the shirt so that it goes around the stoma device (that didn't work so well for me)
However, I thought about it for a bit and looked around to see that there are so many men nowadays with pot-bellies, that I concluded that if I made a device that would hold the bag away from the stoma and protect it at the same time, then I could tuck my shirt in and it would simply make me look as if I was pot-bellied and I would fit in with the rest of that crowd. This device works well but I have developed an attitude of 'function over fashion', so that the way it looks doesn't bother me.
Best wishes

Bill

Paulwd
Mar 10, 2024 12:47 pm

I've now given up on trying to tuck a shirt in. I bought a new shirt for my daughter's wedding and had it trimmed evenly all around to just below my pouch. Most of the time my suit jacket was buttoned, but no jacket and on the dance floor - no problem. Just don't reach up too high. I don't think I looked too weird.

IGGIE
Mar 10, 2024 12:48 pm

G-Day Bob430, you can fold your bag up and hold it with the IGGIE clip, and that lets you tuck your shirt in. See photos. Regards, IGGIE

bowsprit
Mar 10, 2024 3:39 pm

I never wear a shirt that's not tucked in, but the stoma is not placed directly on the belt line. It doesn't look neat; besides, it is unusual. People would suspect that there is something wrong. It also depends on how thick you are around the middle and how full that bag is. Best wishes.

warrior
Mar 10, 2024 4:34 pm

I am not sure what the fuss is all about unless, of course, a one-piece system is being used here.

Speaking freely about a two-piece that can rotate 360 degrees (flip mio), just rotate it 45 degrees to the right with a wide hernia belt.

Might not stick out much. Wearing a vest or loose shirt is the trick. No worries about a shirt tuck at all.

Just saying this works well every day with a two-piece system, belt, and a wrap for me.

Don't stay stuck on an older system. You might surprise yourself if you can wear a two-piece rotatable appliance.

Good luck.

Bob430
Mar 10, 2024 6:57 pm

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I really appreciate it!

Pretty much what I expected; it seems like not tucking in is the norm, so I will make it my new normal!

In the end, it's really a very minor annoyance compared to everything else I've been through. As I said, plenty of untucked options. Fortunately, I always favored polos and short-sleeved button-up shirts; both are pretty comfortable. I have a wedding coming up at the end of the month, and I was a little stressed out about it. My first real formal appearance after getting my new accessory. But I think I've come up with a good solution. I got a nice thin sweater vest just long enough to cover the pouch, and still room for the jacket. I can at least tuck in the back of the shirt and one tail in front.

Thanks again, glad to have an outlet for this new reality.

warrior
Mar 11, 2024 3:26 am

🎵🎶🎤🎙️All we are saying....

Is give two-piece systems a 🎵🎶chance..

To tuck..or not... tis the question.

Just really is a question of how comfortable you are being a vertical or horizontal bag user..

It's not my normal untucked.

You can tuck..have options. 

slimwhitehicks
Mar 11, 2024 10:33 pm

Wow. This is all new to me. I've been wearing an ileostomy rig for thirteen years and I've been tucking in the whole time. My stoma is right under my belt. I have no problem at all. I mean, no hernia or anything. Pretty small, healthy stoma. I guess I'm just really lucky. I'm so sorry this is kind of a problem.

Bob430
Mar 11, 2024 11:25 pm

Thanks all,

I haven't completely given up yet LOL. I'm still less than a year into this, so I still have a lot to figure out. I do have a rather prominent bump where my stoma is, so that adds to the bulk. A two-piece really makes it stick out even more. At the moment, it's not an easy task for it to go under the waistband, and I worry about it getting squeezed. If it settles down a bit more, I'll try out the other option.

Thanks again for the input!

bowsprit
Mar 12, 2024 7:51 am

The word 'shirt' causes confusion. That thing describes a body covering with a collar, a front opening with buttons, long or short sleeves, and 'a tail long enough to be tucked inside pants or a skirt.' Then there is a blouse, jersey, pullover, tunic, turtleneck, chemise, polo, and some others. Even lingerie has a relationship to a shirt. It would have helped if Bob430 had specified which item he had in mind. There are so many, enough to make one 'lose his shirt.'

warrior
Mar 12, 2024 1:33 pm
Reply to bowsprit

Splitting hairs, my friend..☺️

Since he is a guy, I doubt he's sporting a blouse these days..

I do know w30bob likes his tube tops and crops. But is the other Bob on here.. you could be speaking to him about this. 😀

bowsprit
Mar 12, 2024 2:02 pm
Reply to warrior

Yes, a man's shirt is a blouse if it has a blousy fit. I think in the Royal Navy, a midshipman's shirt was called a blouse. I had a friend who was a commander in the Navy. After a trip north, he called to say: 'I have your blouse.' (It got mixed up during packing). We were sharing a room assigned to us by the host. I read the advice of a fashionista that the buttons on a shirt are meant to be buttoned, all of them, including the top ones, even without a tie. That macho look with the buttons undone and the chest showing is not on.

MC22
Mar 13, 2024 1:48 pm

I have a urostomy due to bladder cancer... I also miss being able to tuck my shirt. Just one of the things I miss... Still, I'm very blessed to still be here.

ahynes111
Mar 17, 2024 1:55 am
Reply to IGGIE

Wow. The things 'we' come up with! That looks like one of those clips for cruises to stick to the walls.

Lily17
Mar 17, 2024 6:18 pm
Reply to ahynes111

Hi!

In the U.S., many of us call it a "binder clip." They can be found in varying sizes at many office supply stores, Walmart, etc.

Make it an amazing day!

Lily17~

IGGIE
Mar 18, 2024 2:57 pm
Reply to ahynes111

The main thing is it works, and you can fold it over as much as you want to be able to tuck your shirt in or take it off and let it all hang out. The IGGIE clip is for sale at $50 each, or you can get one at your local Officeworks for 10c, but add the magnet to it to stop it from opening. Regards, IGGIE

rlevineia
Mar 19, 2024 7:44 pm
Reply to Beachboy

Suspenders are your best bet for dressing up. "I saw nothing, Herr Commandant, nothing" - John Banner RIP

warrior
Mar 19, 2024 8:52 pm
Reply to Paulwd

I have seen grown men at weddings remove their shirts while dancing.

Imagine an osty doing that?

Most looker-ons aren't offended by hairy chest dances, but bagged men? I think it would cause an evacuation. (Pun intended.)

😩

rlevineia
Mar 20, 2024 3:32 pm
Reply to warrior

Haha, hiking on sunny days, I will remove my shirt. Sun is good for your skin and health. I wear a stealth belt, so it looks like a back brace or hernia belt.

warrior
Mar 20, 2024 5:07 pm

Thanks for the warning!

I'm sure any animals you encounter on that hike will go

"WTF is that?"

AlexT
Apr 07, 2024 9:02 am
Reply to rlevineia

Thank God, another person that's not scared of everything about an ostomy. Keep getting that tan. 👍