What's That Bulge in Your Pants?

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gutenberg
A couple of months ago I was coming home from the hospital after a few tests and had a lot of air building up when a Mountie pulled me over. "I see you're not wearing your seat belt" he said, I asked if he knew what a iliostomy was, he said yes, his father had one so I asked him to look at the bulge around my waist, he said get the hell home quick before you complicate the mess you're in. I asked about the ticket, he just said GO! NOW.
Saved by the Bag, never went over the Limit. but given a few more minutes, I'm not so sure.
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Mike

You must have been doing something right that day!!

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janice

ROFL!!!! Thanks! I need a good laugh!

alligator

I was at a concert once and a policeman asked what the bulge is. I lifted my shirt, he looked and walked, almost ran away. Haha, I now wear a back brace to hide the bulge from anyone.

gutenberg
Just think if you had a couple of little rubber alligators pasted on the pouch. But I'm only keeping them warm, Officer.LOL
 
Staying Hydrated with an Ostomy with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Past Member

That was a funny story. I have to remember that next time.

righty

...I had a border guard at the Canadian Border from Michigan ask me what the bulge was in my pants. I told him, but wasn't sure he was buying it, so I told him I would show him if he really wanted me to. I started to pull the top of the pouch out, and then he got it...said thanks and apologized. Told him no need for apologies, just doin' his job...

bes0642

Gute great story. It got me wondering if we can do a bag upgrade and add an air pump in the event we get pulled over. And use it as a ticket saver technique. What do you think?
Or we could just say "Officer, it's gas. Excuse me a minute while I burp it."
Bob

jjnettie

LOL Release the Gas!!!

Funny how my kids will do any sort of housework if I threaten to "release the gas".

Anoniem18

You're lucky - I don't think it is valid for not wearing a seat belt.
Reminds of the '70s when really tight pants were in. Girls in the keypunch department made fun of me... didn't wear those pants again. Didn't have a stoma until 2012.
Don't think the cops would have let me off. But then seat belts weren't mandatory. But except for my first car, a '55 Austin, I made it mandatory to have seat belts and they be worn.
Saw what a smaller car did to my little Austin. Next car was a '56 Chrysler, could park 2 or 3 Austins in that one.
A former girlfriend's youngest daughter, about 8 or 9, hated wearing a seat belt and would sometimes take it off and then refuse to put it back on.
My solution: I pulled over and would park the car, eventually she started a phony cry, I turned up the radio. In time we start again. One time a cop pulled in behind me, came over, and asked what the problem was. I explained. After he talked to her, we never had to pull over to the side of the road.
And I did have a head-on crash with my family in the car, and my daughter had just put on her seat belt 1/2 mile earlier because "I was anal" about wearing seat belts.
The welts on their belly were quite severe. The crash bent the frame on a '71 Chrysler.
I always wear seat belts.
Seat belts save lives.
Ed

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