Frustrating Coffee Date Experience with Ignorance

So I went for a coffee date yesterday; everything was going great (or so I thought). We talked about all the generic stuff that you do, etc. And then we got onto the subject of my stoma (bearing in mind I make it clear at all times to do research or ask me questions before a date). Well, suffice it to say it rapidly went downhill from there. It turns out not only did she not do much research, but she proceeded to go down the route of "it's just a diet thing, and switching to homeopathic remedies and a green diet will soon clear it all up." I mean, what the actual f**k... 27 years and counting, and apparently I've been managing a condition completely wrong based on her 5 minutes of a Google search. I swear 🤬 this is the exact reason I've been single for so long.

Sorry for the rant, and I hope everyone is having a better weekend than me.

Made me laugh 😂

There's no shortage of ignorant people who go down the "natural" healing path and think it cures everything. It doesn't.

The worst are the ones who basically use it to blame the victim. Like if you would just listen to them, you wouldn't be sick at all. Because clearly, 5 minutes on Google makes them more of an expert than you and your doctors.

How did you react to this prize of a person? 🤦🏼‍♀️

At least it didn't take long for you to find out what a whack job she is!

My Ostomy Journey: Ryan | Hollister

I'm sure it's not the first and won't be the last time you hear it from a "know-it-all." Just laugh it off; don't lose any sleep over it; life's too short.

I won't even go there with what I've heard from "know-it-alls" about my condition over the years, and even from doctors. You just couldn't make it up, but they did! I play with them and have fun asking them more about it so I can have a good laugh about what they've said. Lol.

When I was in the middle of physically and emotionally agonizing ulcerative colitis, a friend's husband apparently had an issue with my blue demeanor and told me that “being positive is healing.” He gave me a book on gratitude, and it took everything in me not to throw it at his head.

Bless you. I am sorry to hear this … xx I think sometimes, as hard as these experiences are, and I think we've all gone through things similar to this … in a way, it's good life lessons, and we filter through the genuine people. x Please stay positive; there are some decent people out there. xx

I literally laughed out loud!

I'm very sorry that happened to you.

Haha, I can namaste with the best of 'em, but tell me to smile when I'm not happy, and I could throw a book at someone's head!

OMG, I admire your restraint!

Terry

No need to apologize. Ranting is sometimes warranted! We've all met people like her, and as mentioned, sometimes they are even our doctors! I had one specialist who sent me to a physiotherapist for my 'constipation,' as he was convinced it was all in my head because I wasn't relaxing my pelvic floor muscles. He was condescending and smug as I tried to explain to him that my colon did not function properly. When the physiotherapy didn't work, as I knew it wouldn't, he implied that it was my fault. I never did get the chance to let him know his diagnosis of me was WRONG and that I had colonic inertia. He's probably still misdiagnosing patients to this day. Jerk. The right lady is out there! Don't give up.

Terry

After 27 years, what is the point?

I held back by a thread!

Well, now you are blessed with knowing who to NEVER see again. There's a better one down the road!😁🥳

So your date didn't do her research.. at least you gave them a heads up before the date.

Sometimes that is good letting them know.

Other times not.

Was this the first date between you two? And presumably the

last? ..

Have you considered not mentioning anything about your condition until the time calls for it? Might want to try that avenue next.

Next time someone is referencing Google to "help" you, tell them to Google this 🖕.

Or....... hit them with a book. 😄

Hey... rant away... sounds like my older sister when I got sick 5 years ago... oh... so and so has an ostomy and works... so and so had diabetes... you can go back to work; you're not going to get disability... ummm, illnesses are different from the colds... and I have leaks from my bile duct and pancreas that left me with chronic pancreatitis and absences every 6 months for the past 3 years, and my kidneys aren't the greatest... and I developed colitis. So yeah... I really hate that 💩, so I get it... BUT don't stop looking for someone that gets it... all you need is an open-minded person that wants to get to know you and possibly help... I thought my fiancée would possibly leave because my health issues are stressful, and it was only 4.5 years into our relationship, and I'm tired a lot... and can't do most of the things I used to before... but 5 years later, we're going on 10, and if I'm hurting, he'll clean... rub my back... bring me dinner... and really doesn't give it a second look at all my scars or if I have a leak in the bed at night... in fact (embarrassed as I was), the other day I had my first blowout in the car and no bathroom/gas station in sight for 30 minutes... he grabbed his sweatshirt and had me wrap it around me so it wouldn't get anywhere else... so they're out there... and I wasn't looking when I met him... so keep trying; maybe you'll meet a friend of a friend or out of nowhere you'll find that person in time 😊

I swear to God women can be just as out of touch as us men "apparently".

You're not wrong; I mean, I'm all for clean living and trying to be healthy, but to make out it'll cure a chronic illness that medical doctors still don't 100% know what causes it or whether it's hereditary just infuriates me.

By being as polite as possible without causing a scene and getting the hell out of Dodge (to quote an American phrase)

Oh, I guarantee she believed every word she spoke. 🤣

Oh, I won't be dwelling on it, but it does go to show that it's not always us men who aren't clued up.

I'd of knocked him to the floor and crammed every last page down their throat 🤬

Don't know how I managed it, lol.

It's surprising how many doctors don't know their head from their ass.

Seem to be far and few between, lol.

First and last date. And I'm always upfront about my condition. I'd rather they know beforehand; that way, they can't accuse me of hiding anything.

Seems to get harder as you get older, that's for sure. The ex-wife understood, and my last partner understood, but lately it seems dates either want perfection or everything given to them on a plate without making any effort.

There's definitely genuine people out there. I just seem to be finding the nuts.