David Letterman's Top 10

Those of you who recall Letterman's top ten list, I'm reviving/revising the late-night comedian's popular subject for those interested. Think of it as a checklist ✔️ from seasoned members put together as a helpful bit of advice. There are no wrong answers.

 ME!! go first with number 1.😋

1) Advice/suggestions/replies offered from various and seasoned members—what works for one or two folks may not work for you.

This is our mantra.

ALSO : chew, chew, chew your food.

3) Saying "I have a stoma." Big whoop! We all do. It's not helpful. Be specific. Think I.C.U. (ileo, colo, uro). And the reason for it?🤔

Just saw a post today (11.13.25) " I have a rash- any advice?"😳

4) On top, in the header "collections," you can go there with questions; "ask osty a.i." will give you condensed information to help start your research. 👍

5) Yes, you can name your stoma, even talk or sing to it. Or not. Whatever gets you through the day. ("Trump" has not been used yet, despite the stoma's shortcomings). 🤷‍♂️

6) Yes, you can get your bag wet. Showering bagless, no appliance, is referred to as "naked showering." Think, free the stoma.

8) Kindly reply to the topic after reading all  the comments. Don't read the topic and reply. Chances are, your reply has been mentioned already. Just agree if you want, acknowledge the members (applaud them), and write your own story.

9) Using an email address as yur handle is the quickest way to get booted off the site. Using yur first and last name is not wise. 

10) for the love of all that is green on Earth, when replying to comments, read.  There are 2 buttons at the end " reply to comment" made by last persons reply. Then " reply" which goes to original poster. 

Horns playing and cymbals crashing. . The top ten ends. 🎶🎵

2) Shit happens

Good one.

2b) Being pissed has new meaning for Uros.😬

Shit really does hit the fan...hit the ceiling fan with my erupting and violent stoma, and called it a Bullseye 🎯

Yep. In some states, I'm sure you'd need a concealed carry permit.

How to Get Back to Activity after Ostomy Surgery with Kimberly | Hollister

2C. "Burp" takes on a whole new meaning with an ostomy.

Ask my wife and cat.

Lol... you do know that no one will read this before making all of this redundant.

And you haven't lived until you've pissed and/or shat on the floor... and you were not shitfaced at the time.

See, that's the beauty of "copy and paste." Once completed, I can resubmit this under a new topic or subject header. The older ostimates will likely help compile more, which I'm hoping for.

Topics have to be eye-catching and info relative for people posting who are looking for help and are new to the game.

(NEWBIES).

And who really qualifies as a newbie? I'm 9 years in,

still feel newb-ish.😊

There are the "hi" topics.👍

The "help" topics which need a bit of expanding. 👎

"Leaks" always work.😳.

Those redundant topics? Just shoot me. 🙈

Time will tell. This topic is a work in progress. Not yet finished. Hopefully, it makes a point and a belly laugh.🤞rolling eyes are also permitted.👀

You know I'm just giving you "shit," right?

Of course. Yes. Maybe. Ugh. Sure. Hee hee.

7) My stoma emits eerie noises, yet my butt is silent. Should I be concerned?

7a) I awoke from surgery and my butthole is gone. Should I be concerned?

7b) I awoke from surgery and my penis disappeared. Should I be concerned?

8) After surgery, radiation, chemotherapy... you will not be the same. So much to mentally deal with besides recovering.

Altered body image. Loss of sexual function. PTSD from the trauma. Fear of recurrence. Loneliness.

5. Yes, there are benefits to being an ostomate. Most people aren't lucky enough to have the ability to take a big dump while being interviewed for a new job or waiting in line at the grocery store.

Terry

😂🤣

Terry.......I'm guessing you haven't been to San Francisco lately?

;O)

Or Newark, NJ.

Or New York City.

We have enough 💩 of our own 🤣🤣🤣

I have to add walls and the ceiling fan!

What a weapon it could be! Who needs a taser or pepper spray when you could just... lol!

Yes. It gives new meaning also to

"shoot the shit" aka having a conversation.

For us, it's literal 🤣🤪🤣

Huh?? Maybe I'm a little slow today, but you'll need to explain that one to me!

Terry

Allow me to explain, Lucy..

My dear bro, w30bob, and I were making a lame attempt to comment on the word or phrase "crappy towns of USA". Do you have a town you'd hold your breath driving through? 😊

In San Fran, considerable amounts of poop litter sidewalks, alleys, and streets. A smartphone app was created to document and report this crap. This app was called Snapcrap, a free app to make it easier for residents and tourists to report human waste on city streets to the city's 311 hotline by submitting a photo. Poop piles can also be reported directly using the official San Francisco 311 app, which handles a wide range of service requests. The data collected from the Snapcrap app and the official 311 app have been visualized on "poop maps," which have been used to highlight the extent of the problem in the city.

For real? Then, that place has certainly changed since the last time I was in S.F. Fisherman Wharf area. Had to be about 30 years ago. I found it quite clean compared to NYC - Manhattan.

Ya need to visit there now.  Quite a change.  We used to spend a week in San Francisco every year.  We stopped after our last visit.  We were walking near Fisherman's Wharf, homeless were hiding in the bushes next to the sidewalk.  As people strolled by....they would pop up, yell Boo!  While waving a piece of bush.  Then they asked for money.  This scared the shit out of my wife, and many other folks.  

Soon a small crowd of people formed watching the spectacle.  Well.... One guy got the "scare" routine, immediately turned and punched the homeless guy in the mouth.  Knocked the dude out.  

So, our last visit wasn't much fun.  Constantly hassled for money.  We didn't feel safe walking around.  High prices.

We used to spend a week in Seattle too.  Don't do that anymore either.

We also totally avoid LA.  I'm planning a cruise next year from Quebec.  We've done it a couple of times, it ends in New York City.  But I'm going to pick a different cruise that ends somewhere else.

Well, thanks, Des! Are we talking about crappy smelling? Or just crappy? I can think of a few pulp mill towns that you have to plug your nose to drive through.

Terry

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nT2lJGSwEzI?feature=share

;o)

There goes my dinner! Thanks, Bro. 🤢

Hi Warrior. I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to talk to about your ostomy journey, then I'll do my best to respond ASAP. Hope this message finds you well.