Intimacy Issues with an Ileostomy Bag During Sex

Coloplast makes a wide velcro-fastening belt that can hide it. There are others I believe somebody in this thread might have mentioned. They mostly mention exercise, but after all, this is kinda that, right? Good luck!

Same for me. I hate it; it gets in the way, but he has never been bothered. We have been together for 31 years, and he still finds me sexy, so we're lucky with our men xx ❤️. But yes, patience and crotchless knickers mean the bag doesn't have to be seen then 😉.

Well Kimy, I have no experience making love to someone with an ileostomy; I have a urostomy. I make sure my bag is empty before we get it on. But doggie would keep your bag out of the way. You could also try different positions. And your husband should just be glad you still want to 'dance' with him and not worry about seeing the bag.

JMF

Yes, yes, and more yes!!!!

Tight tops can actually create pancaking, an abundance of stool that eventually rises to the top of the bag, which can lead to leaking. I would stop using those. Use an ileostomy belt and just let it hang loose! Best wishes, Deb.

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Easy there, hon. Might hurt yourself. 🤣😊

I found Bellabands at Target. I got a size that wasn't too tight to leave some room for output, but keeps my bag from hanging down and being distracting & in the way. I tried tube tops too but didn't like them as much.

Best of luck!

Kimy I feel as women we have more options to try lingerie like a bustier (sp?) that is long enough to cover it, one of those ostomy covers that could pass off as a back brace, a somewhat fitted skirt or dress quite honestly in the heat of the moment it seems not to matter what clothes you still have on. You can try different positions as well. I have had my ileostomy for 42 years, my surgery was done when I was 13. You name it I have tried it. In my lifetime I only had 1 guy who had an issue, quite honestly though he had many issues and he just chose that because he thought it would bother me. He wanted to make me feel insecure, honestly it gave me strength to be able to walk away. Because of him I was more open about having an ileostomy because as a nurse I thought I could help others through a rough time and was able to appreciate the fact that our bodies are a miracle whether perfect or flawed. I hope some of this helps you. 

"I'll have what she's having." 🥂

I too have been in the medical field. We do have the urge to educate and help other people, don't we? I don't advertise that I have an ileostomy, but I don't hide the fact either; the body is a miracle.

Hi Farrarar and Kimy,

Like you, I have had my ostomy since I was 11. I don't bother covering it up. When I was younger, I thought I needed special lingerie, but my partners (and two husbands 😂) disagreed.

My second husband (and last! 😉) and I have a great sex life, and the ileostomy very rarely gets in the way. My hubby doesn't notice the bag. It's been 15 years, and I believe him.

It took me a long time to feel comfortable naked, but that was all about my own fears that I had to sort out.

My best “bag barriers” in the past have been short negligees or tanks.

Best of luck!